Saturday Aug 28, 2010

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Last night my best friend, Phantom died of congenital heart failure. He was 14 years old and my very first cat. Before him I never cared for cats at all. They seemed so distant and aloof, but Phantom changed my world. He was handsome. Everyone who met him said that immediately. He was so warm and friendly to me, shy around others at first, but once he warmed up you couldn't help but fall in love with him.

Pets are hard to let go of when they pass and I knew he was getting old and I had started to prepare myself for the inevitable. About five weeks ago he had his first attack. I woke up to find him hard of breathing and crying. I immediately got him to the vet. She told me that his heart was enlarged and he had fluid in his lungs. They gave me medications to help his heart and clear up the infections in his lungs. Within days he started to seem better and for the last few weeks he was behaving relatively normal.

This is going to be hard for some to read.

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Last night I stayed up til about 2 am. As I was getting ready for bed he came over and made a loud bark sound at me. I gave him some attention and he went back in the other room. About ten minutes later he came back out and lied down on the carpet and started to cry and was having difficulty breathing. I had bought extra medicine in case he had another attack and immediately gave him some. He fought swallowing it, but I made him get it down. I checked out emergency vets in NJ and called one for advice. She said I had to get him there right away, so I got ready brought him to the car. He was crying and fussing. The vet was 30 minutes away and I only got about 15 minutes on the road until his heart gave out. I wasn't sure if he had passed or had just finally relaxed a little bit, so I kept going for another few minutes until I had to check on him. He was gone.

I couldn't focus on whether or not to keep going to the vets or go home, but after driving for anther 5 minutes I decided to head home. That was by far the hardest thing I've ever done.



This wasn't the first time I had to rush him to the vet to save his life. But it never gets easier. In 2005 he got into my girlfriend's sewing thread and swallowed a whole bunch. It blocked his intestines up and he needed an operation. It was not cheap, but there was no way I was going to let my little guy go over the cost. He recovered pretty good from that and went on to live 5 great years.

Not a day went by that he didn't give me all of his love and affection. And I treasured it. He got me through some very tough times, simply by being there for me. He slept next to me every night and loved being snuggled and much as I loved snuggling him. That he died of an enlarged heart is ironically fitting. He had so much love in him.

I'm going to miss coming home to him. He wouldn't let me get in the door without picking him up and giving him a big hug. That part is going to be the toughest. Not having him around to nudge me with his big bull head looking to be scratched when I'm feeling down. He just knew what it took to cheer me up. He was a really special friend.

So, sometime today when I get the strength I'm going to go outside and bury him. I put all of his favorite toys, some catnip, and a full bottle of cat treats in the box with him.











He almost made it into an SG set of Eve and Edea.



Rest in Peace, my little Bull.

VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
lixi:
lol i was parked...pathetic i know hehe
chrysis:
I won't write much except to say that .. this reminded me exactly of my best friend, Skittie. He passed at 21. Also in the middle of the night, and without vet assistance. Also with me. It was five years ago and the hardest thing of my life -- he is in the back yard of a home I have since moved from and I still tear up when I think of him there. I carried him back there, in a towel, in my pajamas in the dark, and a neighbor buried him the next morning..

Anyway, I am not a cat person either -- I feel you can build much stronger and more conscious, multidimensional bonds with dogs .. but every once in a while I think you get a special one. And you sync up with your cat / understand each other, end up with a best friend, and that's just that.

By the way, Skittie was a tuxedo cat. So seeing yours about broke my heart. But I feel for you. I do. I'm glad you had him so long -- these are the best relationships to have. :] I know mine is untouchable.

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