minibeanie

Hi, I saw your comment in the LGBTQ group about being married (in the process of a divorce) and realizing you are a lesbian. Right now, I'm in somewhat of a similar predicament and I was just wondering how you managed to get through everything.

I love my husband there is nothing 'wrong' with our relationship and I knew I was bi before we started dating, which I also told him but basically, I thought things would work btwn us. But...I don't feel like I can keep the relationship up anymore. I don't even recall the last time I kissed him and its been almost 2 months since we slept together and I have no desire to again. He has physical features that remind me of a woman (smooth, pale skin, a very nice, gently curving back, small hands and wrists) and knowing that he'd hate the idea of me thinking about his 'womanly features' to get turned on, has turned all desire off for me. He's a good person, husband, and father but I just feel like I'm fading away by existing as someone that I'm not.

I always want him to remain in my life b/c he is a good friend, etc. and we have an 8 month old daughter together. Theres no reason he shouldn't have a significant part of in her life. And I want us to always remain friends b/c I do love him as cliched as that sounds. But in a few months he heads to Iraq for a year and I don't want to pull the rug out from under him during such a hard time. I want to support him through this. I don't even really want to leave immediately because I don't have the means (job/degree-wise) to support myself and the baby yet. I will be finishing my degree while he's in Iraq.

I just don't know how to explain to him how I feel without him feeling like he's not good enough or something to that effect. Once again, its a cliched saying, but it isn't him, its me. I've finally decided to stop being cowardly and admit that I prefer women no matter what family/friends think/say. But I want to be able to do this and keep our friendship/relationship as parents intact.

How did you manage with everything?

I know this is very personal but once I saw your post I thought you would be one of the best people to talk to seeing that you have gone through a very similar situation.

Thank you

Yeah I know. But if you were then I'd never get anything done. We'd both be on our respective couches watching TV until someone got hungry enough to get up.