mikeleroux

i thinking i'm going mad. i havn't been on my board in almost a month. thats the longest i've gone without skateboarding since i started. seeing as it damn near the only thing i find relaxing anymore, its getting all sorts of stressful 'round here.

i've been out writing a lot more, which kinda sucks because its been colder than normal around here lately. uncovered hands on a paint can is not the best way to keep warm at -21 degree. i have been doing alot more sketching as well, way too much free time. also stickers, lots of stickers. they're cheap fun to make and keep me busy. plus its alot easier to throw up a sticker than a large paint piece downtown.

my sleep cycle has been right fucked for about a week or so now. i made the mistake of being sucked in by a comfy chair in my warm basement by the fireplace. slept for 8 hours before i realised it was the middle of the day, and now i'm having troble getting back to normal. curse you comfortable basement.

now not to sound like a pothead, but i would be hella nice if i could blaze. its been shit a couple weeks at least, more likely a month, since i last smoked out. it would help with the pent-up rage i'm feeling these days. without skateboarding or anyone to fight i have no way to get out the agression.

hopefully i get this job i've been trying for soon, i need the money for all sorts of things but top of the list is a new snowboard. i got out for a bout half an hour at queen's university's jib jam event and it was the first time since i broke my back. so stoked to ride again, but no board. curses on my lack of motivation. its something i have to get around to doing. right now work is just waiting, i find out right after valentines day if i get the job. stupid computer work, not consistent enough.

anyway i'm tired of being negative. i'm stoked on what i believe is my current favourite band, brandtson. got a militia group compilation cd with them on it and i've been playing it way too much, but i enjoy it so i won't stop. i thought i grew out of the whole indie rock phase i went through in high school, but they have rekindled my love of acoustic sounds with electronic backing. back to cooking, even if it is only for myself. my family is unused to the whole more than 45 seconds in the microwave cooking, so apparently i take too long in the kitchen. ungrateful... fuckers... meh, i enjoy cooking so its all good.

hoping to get out there and meet a few new people. i'm still not real big on going out without a friend as backup. i'll get over it but for now i'm hoping sg can hook me up with a few people and i'll go from there.

lastly, i've decided that i'm giving up on women completely. i don't mean that in a negative way, i'm just going to avoid getting into anything that resembles a long-term relationship. i'm upfront with every girl i meet, i just want to be friends, caring about a girfriend/boyfriend is too much work. i have no problems with caring about friends, but then again i don't plan on breaking up with my friends and having to reconcile my feelings about the person with someone else and my desire to see them happy.

anyway i give up, its late i'm not tired just tired of typing. hope the next couple weeks sees you all well and good luck with anything you have to overcome in the coming weeks.

later days
mike

ps. this was supposed to be a quick, single paragraph update. guess that idea was fucked from the start.