mike_honcho

11 years ago today my life changed forever. I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. It was a cool brisk September morning. I was a 20 year old Private First Class in the US Army. I had just passed my 1 year in service, was stationed at Ft. Myer in Arlington, VA. I was in the process of receiving "Remedial PT", because we had taken a PT test that morning and our Squad leader said everyone needed to score a minimum 280. I had got a 277. I was in the middle of some push-ups when suddenly a shock wave rocked our barracks. 1 minute later one of the soldiers in my platoon was yelling for everyone to get outside in formation. As I passed through the company dayroom I glance at the TV and see the WTC Towers pouring smoke. Our First Sergeant informed us of the planes in New York, and that one had just impacted the Pentagon. We were also told that we were waiting for fire fighters to get the blaze under control, so we could get in there for Rescue and Recovery Operations. In the mean time we were tasked with cleaning up the debris field. Our entire regiment went into Arlington National cemetery, and walked across the entire cemetery to pick up the pieces we could find. We were unable to get to the Pentagon that night. We were put on guard around Ft Myer for the night. Then on September 12th we were told to try and rest as much as possible, because we would be going to the Pentagon that night. We arrived at ^ p.m. and at that time I was the Company Radio Operator, so I had to tour the site with the Company Commander and call information back up the chain. After the tour it was announced that my platoon would be the first ones going in. We were taken in for a quick minute to be "desensitized" to what we would see. Our Lieutenant pointed at the ground and laying there was someone's leg completely burnt and shriveled. We were told that if we couldn't handle it to leave and there would no repercussions. That first night we were informed that there were no real bio-dangers to us. We went into the Pentagon wearing only our uniform, gloves, respirators, goggles, and over boots. It was so hot in there my goggles kept fogging up and it was hard to breathe with my respirator one. In ten minutes both were just hanging around my neck. We worked until 2 a.m. then we were ordered out to decontaminate and have 2nd platoon come in. Well where things get strange is the next night we show up and we are told to put on double layered Bio-hazard suits and tape up all the seams and wear full masks. During those two weeks I saw and did things I would never wish anyone to have to do. Every year I have all those memories come back both awake and during sleep this time of year. Then, every year I have to put up with all of the conspiracy assholes. I get so fucking sick of it! One of my friends is one of them. I even told him everything, and he still didn't believe me. I finally had enough and snapped at him telling him I'm not just some asshole shit stirring making some conspiracy documentary. I actually saw the shit with my own eyes and he is hearing the truth. The truth of the matter is those fucks don't want to hear the truth. They want to use coincidences to justify what they think and that's all they care about. They don't want to be weighed down by fact. I just get so angry, because my brothers and I have to carry these memories around for the rest of our lives. I used to just suffer by myself, because I thought I was the only one dealing this hard. Then from talking with some of this with the guys it came to light that basically all of us were just as fucked up as each other. Even worse as we all started spreading to the wind either getting out of the Army or going to different units we no longer had each other. Most of us, myself included, had turned to using alcohol to bury it as much as possible. Well you can figure that ended bad for all of us. I got to the point that if I was drunk I was an emotional wreck, and I would get angry and violent to an extreme level. I had to finally put a stop to that. This November I will have been sober for 4 years. I still have an occasional drink , but I don't get drunk. Well, if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I don't mind talking about it. When I was seeing a shrink she said that was the best thing to do. So ask away