I’ve been lost inside myself for so long that I have been blinded by all that is circling around me. And now that I can see, truly see, I have found that no one life is perfect. Nothing or no one will ever understand all that I am but me. And the road to self-discovery is always a hard one, but in the end, I find that it is obtainable. With every heart ache & every loss, every memory, whether it be happy or sad, is what takes me down this life’s road. But that is what makes all matters of life so precious. It’s the not knowing that is precious. Will today be my last? Will I find the one person who makes me hear the sound of my own heart beating? Who am I? Will I cease to exist as a forgotten memory or be someone remembered for the love that I tried to show the world? And with all these questions to ask, we never look at the bigger picture. Life in itself is what is most precious. Not the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the money in your wallet. Those are not a means to be remembered. It’s the life that we lead & what we do with the time that we are given that truly matters in the end because life is the most crucial commodity one can truly poss
Now, I am not saying that if you want to make your life worth or mean something that you have to be perfect & give life. No, that is not it at all. What I am merely attempting say is that no one life is more precious than another life. But only through the connection shared with other life can we truly reach that realization. All life is precious, no matter how miniscule
Now, as a society, we are blinded by the consumer world. This need to obtain more than needed to survive. I have found that luxury is an unnecessary aspect in my own life. Granted, all manners of people feel good when given the chance to buy something new. Only thing is, we can never be content with what we already have. Nothing is ever good enough. Just like how we believe that no one is perfect enough. So we fight against the current of time for these things. By trying to rewind the clock back on the years that begin show on us with materialistic things. Or how we try to own the best of everything, and for what, to be noticed, to feel good about ourselves?
Here’s a thought. Try to imagine a world where everything that you currently own is stripped away from you. Not a cent left to your name. No cell phone, no transportation, no supermarket. All the luxuries that you once took for granted, gone, just gone & who would be standing their when the dust settled? I can tell you that you would no longer be the person that you once knew. All that you are today would cease to be. All of the things that ended up owning you in the end would cease to be. All of your restraints from the truth would finally be revealed to you. Then, only then, might you stop & think in a clearer perspective on what it truly means to be alive.
Maybe you’ll catch a glimmer of a sunset. See the way that the light from the moon catches on the waves. See the way that a tree sways back & forth in the wind. Maybe you might begin to finally see the world the way that it was intended to be seen. Finally opening your eyes like someone who was blinded all of their life & then suddenly, by the grace of some higher power, received one single opportunity of vision. Beginning to realize just how much beauty that there truly is around you.
But instead, we're locked up in a world of ignorance for the masses & fed lies by those who choose to look away from that beauty. These such people who will never know what it is to walk outside, truly smelling the crisp air, and feeling the sensation of freedom from their own corporate cubicles. The Governmental System we have is Consumed Blindness.
Now I can spew relentless facts about how the government plays a large role in our disintegrating society. But that would stray me from the point that I am trying to make here. The point is… we are lost. Blinded by greed, the beauty surrounding us & what it truly means to be alive. I for one won’t let this stand, not for who I am or who I will become. I’m someone who has spent my unfinished life trying to make a difference, not only for myself, but for others around me. I know that I am not alone in these beliefs, but I honestly feel alone. No one will ever see the world through my eyes or even care to because they are so wrapped in this consumer world. I can’t swallow that society down anymore. I only wish that others would begin to realize just what it is that they are doing to themselves.
Maybe a rundown of how I currently live might strike a chord in you. I’ve found a small place in the middle of nowhere. I buy food as I needed, no longer own a vehicle for transportation, although I do possess a bicycle. Hell, it’s cheap on gas & I get a good exercise. I keep to myself, until it suits me not to. I really don’t need much to survive. I don’t have the luxury of cable TV, because I choose not to. I have a cell phone, but those that know my number, rarely hear from me. Not because I’m anti-social, but because I don’t like to wrap myself up into a conversation with the same person on a daily basis. Eventually you end up talking about the same old shit you did the day before. I am more of a “you’ll hear from me every once in a few weeks on the phone” kind of person.
Growing up in foster care might play another role in why I tend to need less than most others to be content. I was allowed only so much space for what little belongings that I had, if any, as I bounced from place to place. It made me self-sufficient in knowing that at the end of the day, the only person who will be looking out for my best interest would be me. Sure, I had met those who, still to this day, care a great deal for my well-being. But ultimately, I was left to fend for myself in a world filled by consumption & greed. Hell, sometimes I feel sorry for those who weren’t forced into that kind of life. I look at people outside of my realm & realize that most would never make it the world that I was raised in. Not because they haven’t been raised without something unfortunate happening, but because they always had someone who was a crutch in their survival. Maybe someone who may have had their back when shit hit the fan or someone who was always there for them, even when they didn’t even need them to be. Maybe their few unfortunate happenings in their life were difficult ones, but unfortunate happenings were a constant for me in the 16yrs of my childhood in the foster care system.
I was swapped, switched, turn upside down on a constant basis. Here one minute, gone the next. But it made me grateful for the experience. But unlike most, I have acquired a vision to see everything a little more clearly. The chance to observe a beautiful world, even when I was presented with was a harsh & desolate one. That is an ability that few have dreamed of & but less have ever accomplished. True Sight from a Consumed Blindness.