midwestpunx

Ok a few few days ago there was a WHOLE beautiful journal written but yours truely... I didnt have time, TILL NOW, to respond... And now I finally have a few minutes to comment on it... First you say you use to listen to me and thought everything I said was heart felt and loyal, but now you dont? You want something genuine and truthful - fine... I've told you pleanty of time how I felt bout you... How you're extremely selfish, and spoild, shaddy, and very manipulative! These words have came out many times, but through fights... But I'm am genuine, and heart felt - and when I said those things it wasnt just because we were fightin'... It was said because with allll my heart that is how I truely truely feel! The last time you were here - yeah the time you came here and tried sayin' you were gonna leave w/ some random 25 year old to chicago and put that on my parents... One of the most craziest fuckin' shit i've heard from you - and I've heard ALOT! And I told you how I cant believe you'd put me in that possition, but more then all I cant believe you'd even mention doin' that to my parents... Then you used that poor guy and made him buy a ticket alll spur of the moment, and then call him the next day and tell him he cant come? Yeah well I went off on you - told you how I think you play this sweet girl image, and how you "Hate shaddy ass self righteous girls"... Well why you think you preach soo much bout hatin' them - cuz you're prolly the biggest one of all of em... Yeah, good front but I'm not buyin' it, I didnt then and I"m DEFINATELY not how - I'm just not scared to admit it... And after all the shit you talk, and all the manipulatin' you did... Takin' shit that I had every right to be thinkin', and every right to be pissed off for and turnin' it around to make it look like I"m the worlds worst man - "But you still love me, You're just shocked and disapointed in me"... Well I'm not gonna let you do that again - you've done it ONE too many times... Shocked at all this? You shouldnt be, I've said it all before - this time I'm lettin' you know I MEAN it, with all my heart, and I have for a long long time now - yeah long enough to be waaay back when we were together - for a long long time at that even... For years in our relationship I've been feelin' all this and it grew and grew the more we were together... And now I'm not with you, and I've been doin' my best to avoid you in any kinda relationship level (yeah just friendly even) you're still doin' this to me... You're lettin' our freindship go forever? Thanks, that's what I was tryin' to back away from - cuz I'm sick of your shit... I keep you weak? How? By tellin' you the truth, that's all I've ever did - bring up shit that really happened, point out the true you - cuz you know what, you dont even know the true you - I DO THOUGH!!! You might think this shit is pretty harsh, but shit - it's the truth, and it discusses me when you think all the shit you did to me was "Cute and harmless". Let me ask you, how cute and harmless is it to fuck w/ my head for 3 years, to put lies on top of lies for 3 years? How harmless is it to fuck w/ peoples hearts? Prolly pretty harmless to you bein' that you have a tendancy of doin' it ALOT! I was unbelievably shocked when I read that you called it "CUTE" of all things and "harmless"... Let me tell you something, I got sooo sick of your shit that if there was a gun next to me, it would have sounded really good against my head - and dont think for 2 seconds that all those times spent on the phone when I was goin' through your mind fuck manipulations I didnt honestly think bout how much better that sounded then bein' stuck with your shit... I really couldnt handle it anymore, for whateva reason I was stuck in it - and I regret that more then anything... I thank Shannon for showin' me how it is to really be treated w/ respect and love, and snappin' me outta it and finally gettin' that push from seein' how it's suppose to be in a good relationship to get outta shit with you! And since we're on the topic of Shannon, how dare you put any doubt in her head w/ me... Yeah I heard bout your letter to her when you were here and how you said "Dont believe everything you hear bout me... I really am a good person..." Tellin' my new girlfriend who I love with all my heart, who means the world to me and I'm finally startin' over with fresh and new and right... With no lies, no doubt, nothin' negative straight from the start... You tell her to not believe me? Why would you do that to her, not me but her - think bout hearin' from an ex to not believe everythign you hear from the guy you love and are tryin' to start to know more and more of... That's just sooo wrong... You broke me down, you made me the most depressed I've ever been in my life - I LOVE life with ounce of me, and when I was with you I was ready for it to be over! I like to think I'm a pretty damn good person, and I care greaty bout people... But I also have a good grasp on what LOVE and HATE is all about... And fuck with me, and disrepect me long enough and you'll see the bad side of me - cuz above everything I care bout myself greatly and will not get walked all over... I just cant believe I let you for as long as you did... Well I'm out, and I'm glad - and here's a big FUCK YOU to you too for all the wrong you've ever did - to me, and most of all to my friends and family... Cuz my TRUE friends and family I care bout more then you'll ever know! The lies to me, the lies to my own fuckin' family - that let you into their house - to my friends... All the manipulatin', all the shaddy - self righteous - and the usin' other people as scape goats to hide all this, to hide what a selfish bitch you can be is stoppin'... Take all that shit, all that you've ever done, manipulated, and lied bout and FUCK OFF!!! With that said, I hate that I had to say all this... I hate that it's come to this, but you did it again to me - and I'm tired of it, you turn the tables around when you know you have every right to be in that spot - and push them onto me and make me look horrible, make you look "Cute and harmless"... And I know you look more harmless then me now, cuz I was harsh and you were "Disappointed but still love me"... BULLSHIT, you were again manipulative and shaddy and extremly self righteous... That's why you make yourself sound so sweet in that, but hurt... So You dont look bad... That's why you felt the need to write to Shannon and make yourself look like the victim, to not look bad - that's all you care bout... And yes I was very harsh - but I was real, and that's alot more respectable I think then bein fake and shaddy, and havin' no heart... I could go on bout this stuff for hours, there's years of shitty things you've done to me... You've done all this to me enough, well not this time, thanx...