I found my dream house and it is a vintage 70's porn set!!! Seriously! We have been shopping for our dream home for over a year. We have had a couple under contract but we walked on inspection. The last one, while under contract was smashed by a tree .
So after many days with our wonderfully patient real estate agent seeing the boring and the ugly, yesterday, on a whim, we said we just wanted to see the porn house. It was at the very top of our price range and it said it needed lots of work. Only if you want to remove everything that makes this house amazing!
The house is built into a mountain side overlooking an AMAZING view of the valley. It is a fully custom home from the 70's designed for filming porn. Between the indoor live plant jungle, the sunken custom sex tub in the middle of the master bedroom, the stunning view you see from every location in the house, the amazing and fun vintage high end 70's kitchen, the pool, the spa, the rooftop garden, the fact that there are a million stairs because there are no 2 rooms in this house at the same level, the pool house, the studio, the 70's tile everywhere and the sex pit in the den this whole house is secluded and amazing in every way. Even better is the neighbors on both sides have huge lots so there is a lot of space. There is only one house higher up on the hill side and it does not over look the yard on this house. This house is totally secluded and private and made for only one purpose and that is sex, and not the kind of sex that makes babies because I think a baby would not survive this house. I think there would be no way to baby proof this house, there are catwalks and stairs everyplace and the house sits a good elevation above the pool and yard and the roof garden deck does not have a real rail. It does have an amazing view.
I think we are going to buy it. I didn't want to love it. I didn't want to spend quite this much. I didn't want a house this expensive, this big and which needs some mold removed from where the indoor sprinklers for the atrium have been aimed and hitting the wall of one of the upper living room decks. It also needs a new roof, which is going to get expensive and might need the roof garden deck redone or removed to get to the roof substrate and I'm horrified to think what something this custom will cost on top of this house being at the top of our price range already, but I think we would be sad and feeling like we missed out forever if we don't move on this house. How often do you get the chance to own your very own 70's porn set?
To seal the deal, on the way home we stopped at the grocery store and I think I saw Ron Jeremy there buying sausage. If this guy wasn't him, he was the closest double I've ever seen. He was there with a woman who was a little old to be dressed as she was but she was dressed in a tight Italian looking mini dress and stripper shoes. She had bright punk red porn star hair and make up on.
We decided this was a sign that we should buy the house. Not a lot of people could rock an eccentric house like this, but I think we are the kind who could. I love that with all the weird it is 100% original, right down to the sea blue lowboy toilets and spitting fish faucets. No bad add ons and it actually makes sense.
We are submitting our offer today. Wish us luck they take the lower offer so we can afford to fix the stuff that needs fixing. I'll be obligated to shoot some sets there, maybe have younger girls come and shoot sets there.
So after many days with our wonderfully patient real estate agent seeing the boring and the ugly, yesterday, on a whim, we said we just wanted to see the porn house. It was at the very top of our price range and it said it needed lots of work. Only if you want to remove everything that makes this house amazing!
The house is built into a mountain side overlooking an AMAZING view of the valley. It is a fully custom home from the 70's designed for filming porn. Between the indoor live plant jungle, the sunken custom sex tub in the middle of the master bedroom, the stunning view you see from every location in the house, the amazing and fun vintage high end 70's kitchen, the pool, the spa, the rooftop garden, the fact that there are a million stairs because there are no 2 rooms in this house at the same level, the pool house, the studio, the 70's tile everywhere and the sex pit in the den this whole house is secluded and amazing in every way. Even better is the neighbors on both sides have huge lots so there is a lot of space. There is only one house higher up on the hill side and it does not over look the yard on this house. This house is totally secluded and private and made for only one purpose and that is sex, and not the kind of sex that makes babies because I think a baby would not survive this house. I think there would be no way to baby proof this house, there are catwalks and stairs everyplace and the house sits a good elevation above the pool and yard and the roof garden deck does not have a real rail. It does have an amazing view.
I think we are going to buy it. I didn't want to love it. I didn't want to spend quite this much. I didn't want a house this expensive, this big and which needs some mold removed from where the indoor sprinklers for the atrium have been aimed and hitting the wall of one of the upper living room decks. It also needs a new roof, which is going to get expensive and might need the roof garden deck redone or removed to get to the roof substrate and I'm horrified to think what something this custom will cost on top of this house being at the top of our price range already, but I think we would be sad and feeling like we missed out forever if we don't move on this house. How often do you get the chance to own your very own 70's porn set?
To seal the deal, on the way home we stopped at the grocery store and I think I saw Ron Jeremy there buying sausage. If this guy wasn't him, he was the closest double I've ever seen. He was there with a woman who was a little old to be dressed as she was but she was dressed in a tight Italian looking mini dress and stripper shoes. She had bright punk red porn star hair and make up on.
We decided this was a sign that we should buy the house. Not a lot of people could rock an eccentric house like this, but I think we are the kind who could. I love that with all the weird it is 100% original, right down to the sea blue lowboy toilets and spitting fish faucets. No bad add ons and it actually makes sense.
We are submitting our offer today. Wish us luck they take the lower offer so we can afford to fix the stuff that needs fixing. I'll be obligated to shoot some sets there, maybe have younger girls come and shoot sets there.
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I hope you'll share pictures at some point. It really does sounds like an amazing house.