I have a problem. When I can't figure something out I obsess over it. Not like a constant worry thing, but I just have to keep messing with it and messing with it and messing with it. I cannot let something defeat me. I MUST figure it out, sometimes to the point of staying awake LONG past my bedtime or flaking out on something else. Printers are an excellent example of this compulsion. I have had probably 50 computer printers over the years. I have yet to find one that works for me. Maybe I expect too much, the name of this detestable item is apparently deceptive. I hear an item called a printer and I expect it to print things. As it is it seems for me the item would more aptly be called a sitter, or possibly an irritater. I have had printer after printer and they always just seem to be about 100 times more trouble than they are worth. I have had Epson's, HP's, Cannons, laser, inkjet, whatever, you name it and they never quite work in the manner I expect them to. By this I mean they do not regularly and reliably perform the function of printing. I rarely print anything, because of the high frustration level I suffer with these infernal gadgets. It seems I can never have an item on my screen I would like to print out and just hit the print button and have a hard copy in hand within a reasonable amount of time. Like an hour. First the thing doesn't find the printer, or for some reason it tells me it is not ready to print. WHY is it not ready to print? It's entire purpose for existence is to print, I expect it to sit there with baited breath anxious and ready to perform it's intended function. But no, apparently when I call on it to perform I am interrupting whatever else it is doing and it requires me to wait for it to do god knows what for an extraordinarily long period of time. Then sometimes it likes to tease me, it will suck the paper in, regurgitate it a little and then proceed to suck it on through having not placed a single droplet of ink onto said sheet. Better yet, and it knows when I have a "one of" item to print, like a greeting card, or a very expensive piece of specialty paper, it will print some strange printer language across the thing and then leave little droplets of ink ALL the way down the sheet, just so I have no choice but to throw it away. My next step is usually to stomp around and curse the printers existence or fall to my knees ripping on my hair screaming WHY GOD WHY!!!. This happens EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Now if I accidentally hit the print button on some worthless thing, like the google homepage, my printer will, within 10 seconds have crisp and clean a perfect copy of that page. It is beautiful, suitable for framing even, but that map I needed 5 minutes ago, it couldn't print that to save it's life. And weather it knows it or not, the printers life really often does hinge on this print job.
So what gives? I think printers have been placed on this earth as my bane. I usually go through 3-5 per year. Because of my obsession with making things work and solving problems, I can't just walk away from the printer and take my data to Kinko's to let them deal with it. Oh no, I will waste hours and hours fiddlefarting around adjusting things, running maintenance, (sometimes going through an entire cartridge of ink having not printed a single useful page) plugging in, unplugging, smacking around all to no avail of course. I spent no less than 5 hours last night trying to get a shipping label to print. I didn't want to waste time stopping in at the post office on my way out. HA HA HA. Finally I had to stop, exhaustion set in, it was around 8 in the am.
The only way I am able to stop my compulsion to make something work it seems is to completely destroy the offending item so I do not worry about it anymore. Hence having to buy 3-4 printers per year. I finally HAVE to stop trying to make the thing work and the only way to stop is complete and total annihilation. So yes, my back yard has become a killing field for printers. After I come to the conclusion I have wasted more time on the printer than any print job could ever be worth I remove it from my desk and send it flying across the yard. I usually follow this with a few kicks, a couple hits with the sledge hammer and a final journey to the dumpster in the alley behind me. Problem solved. Well, I still don't have whatever page I wanted, but at least I have freed myself of the compulsion to try and make it work. So much for the $349 Epson. You think my warranty will cover this? One of these days I think I will take the printer carcass down to the CompUSA just to see. The look on the guys face may well be worth the time.
Now if I accidentally hit the print button on some worthless thing, like the google homepage, my printer will, within 10 seconds have crisp and clean a perfect copy of that page. It is beautiful, suitable for framing even, but that map I needed 5 minutes ago, it couldn't print that to save it's life. And weather it knows it or not, the printers life really often does hinge on this print job.
So what gives? I think printers have been placed on this earth as my bane. I usually go through 3-5 per year. Because of my obsession with making things work and solving problems, I can't just walk away from the printer and take my data to Kinko's to let them deal with it. Oh no, I will waste hours and hours fiddlefarting around adjusting things, running maintenance, (sometimes going through an entire cartridge of ink having not printed a single useful page) plugging in, unplugging, smacking around all to no avail of course. I spent no less than 5 hours last night trying to get a shipping label to print. I didn't want to waste time stopping in at the post office on my way out. HA HA HA. Finally I had to stop, exhaustion set in, it was around 8 in the am.
The only way I am able to stop my compulsion to make something work it seems is to completely destroy the offending item so I do not worry about it anymore. Hence having to buy 3-4 printers per year. I finally HAVE to stop trying to make the thing work and the only way to stop is complete and total annihilation. So yes, my back yard has become a killing field for printers. After I come to the conclusion I have wasted more time on the printer than any print job could ever be worth I remove it from my desk and send it flying across the yard. I usually follow this with a few kicks, a couple hits with the sledge hammer and a final journey to the dumpster in the alley behind me. Problem solved. Well, I still don't have whatever page I wanted, but at least I have freed myself of the compulsion to try and make it work. So much for the $349 Epson. You think my warranty will cover this? One of these days I think I will take the printer carcass down to the CompUSA just to see. The look on the guys face may well be worth the time.
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Not that I'm mocking you.
sorry for my good luck.