middlerelief

visiting with an ex is never a good idea. I say this not because I am presently visiting with an ex, but because I saw one on the street yesterday. that would not necessarily be an unlikely occurance in a city that feels as small as Toronto except that this particular ex does not--to the best of my knowledge--live in Toronto, or even within a four-hundred mile radius. and it makes me think of thsi because, once, after we'd broken up, I visited with this particular ex.

visiting with an ex is never a good idea because you will both inevitably have unrealistic expectations of what your time together will be like. for me it will always be that we could, magically, have a weekend of sex marginally better than it ever was while we were together all with the implicit understanding that, you know, we would both be cool with it afterward. she will always expect us to go out and do all those magical things we never bothered to do while we were together, like go dancing and have moonlight picnics in the park. and the problem isn't that we have different ideas of what things should be like; people have different ideas about relationships all the time and, somehow, society still exists. the problem is that our ideas are diametrically opposite. she imagines a strong fullfilling friendship, better than it was when we were together. I imagine awesome no-strings-attached adventurous, mind-blowing sex. and you cannot have both.

for that reason visiting with your ex is never a good idea.