She hits the blade with both hands high / downward is heavenward and we are not alone / condensers on and the drop is found / a fingertip trace says to me I can see you and you are wet.
A bed of dead leaves grace the ground / a quick glance to the other side and we will not be found / symbiots in haste demand come close / screams to me I can see you above the rest / and through it all she seems secure / downward is heavenward and we are not alone / head thrown back, a sickened sigh / her eyes shut / Beelzebub can we do this without a net?
-HUM: Afternoon With The Axolotls
****
I had a conversation with the gf this morning about this band on our way to work (we carpool). I popped their Downward is Heavenward album in the cd player and saw that she was swaying in her seat to it. I made the comment that everyone, and I mean everyone, that I have played this album to have fallen in love with this bad. I then told her that I likened this band to the Lost Exiled Princes of Fuzz-box Indie Rock. Needless to say, she gave me a weird look.
For anyone that has never heard of this band (a) click the link of the name and youll be directed to an MP3 of the song (a feature I want to keep up with, though the songs will be deleted every week since I do not have a lot of web space) and (b) allow me to explain the sound:
Think Helmet and Quicksand mating in a cave where bereavement echoes off the walls.
It is a sound of beautiful distortion and feedback (thusly the fuzz-box moniker) twisted into a joyously melancholy melody with subsequent soft and harmonious vocals juxtaposed with the music instead of layered on top of it. The amalgam of this odd balance of early hardcore and emo+indie rock that has to be heard to be believed. And I do mean balance because everything just blends so perfectly together.
Kris7 if you havent heard of them yet listen to them now.
In other news
Things are still fairly odd. My mother seems to be doing better, but she had an appointment for a follow up yesterday and never called me afterwards so Im not entirely sure anymore. She seemed better when I saw her last and even seemed to be in higher spirits than usual. My gf made some food for her and her family too. It wasnt done with any malice or pity in mind it was more out of necessity because they have been living off of fast food since my mother cannot cook and my stepfather is ill equipped to survive in the kitchen. Vietnam he has no problem with, but kitchens confuse and scare him.
I dont understand either
Im doing ok, I guess. I still feel fairly disjointed from reality and jaded about the concept of karma. I mean my mom suffered a life of horrible instances that I would not wish upon my worst enemy. She, as well as I, thought that after such a life of hardships that things could only get better for her. They seemingly did though she got a new house with a man that she loves, she had a beautiful new baby, a good steady easy job for her to do everyday to keep her occupied But in the end it all comes crashing down when the fates decide do shove a metal rod the girth of a bowling ball up you nefarious nether regions.
I just dont understand why after a childhood of abuse and neglect, a marriage to an abusive drug addict (whom I call dad and havent spoken to in years), working in sweat shops (literally) to make a meager wage and raise her four children properly, the deaths of two of said children, the falling out with a son that will never speak to her again, and the contempt and animosity her in-laws subjugate her with must she also face this?
I just wish I could bear this burden for her. I wish I could reach into her and take the illness into my own body. I would gladly sacrifice myself if she could just be happy and well for once in her life. I just dont want her life to end like this. Not like this.
for those I love, I will sacrifice
****
Further update:
My mother has to go through chemo now. The surgery didn't get it all and there's enough there to force their hand and give her treatments. Thye said it should get everything this time... but they said nothing about being optimistic.
A bed of dead leaves grace the ground / a quick glance to the other side and we will not be found / symbiots in haste demand come close / screams to me I can see you above the rest / and through it all she seems secure / downward is heavenward and we are not alone / head thrown back, a sickened sigh / her eyes shut / Beelzebub can we do this without a net?
-HUM: Afternoon With The Axolotls
****
I had a conversation with the gf this morning about this band on our way to work (we carpool). I popped their Downward is Heavenward album in the cd player and saw that she was swaying in her seat to it. I made the comment that everyone, and I mean everyone, that I have played this album to have fallen in love with this bad. I then told her that I likened this band to the Lost Exiled Princes of Fuzz-box Indie Rock. Needless to say, she gave me a weird look.
For anyone that has never heard of this band (a) click the link of the name and youll be directed to an MP3 of the song (a feature I want to keep up with, though the songs will be deleted every week since I do not have a lot of web space) and (b) allow me to explain the sound:
Think Helmet and Quicksand mating in a cave where bereavement echoes off the walls.
It is a sound of beautiful distortion and feedback (thusly the fuzz-box moniker) twisted into a joyously melancholy melody with subsequent soft and harmonious vocals juxtaposed with the music instead of layered on top of it. The amalgam of this odd balance of early hardcore and emo+indie rock that has to be heard to be believed. And I do mean balance because everything just blends so perfectly together.
Kris7 if you havent heard of them yet listen to them now.
In other news
Things are still fairly odd. My mother seems to be doing better, but she had an appointment for a follow up yesterday and never called me afterwards so Im not entirely sure anymore. She seemed better when I saw her last and even seemed to be in higher spirits than usual. My gf made some food for her and her family too. It wasnt done with any malice or pity in mind it was more out of necessity because they have been living off of fast food since my mother cannot cook and my stepfather is ill equipped to survive in the kitchen. Vietnam he has no problem with, but kitchens confuse and scare him.
I dont understand either
Im doing ok, I guess. I still feel fairly disjointed from reality and jaded about the concept of karma. I mean my mom suffered a life of horrible instances that I would not wish upon my worst enemy. She, as well as I, thought that after such a life of hardships that things could only get better for her. They seemingly did though she got a new house with a man that she loves, she had a beautiful new baby, a good steady easy job for her to do everyday to keep her occupied But in the end it all comes crashing down when the fates decide do shove a metal rod the girth of a bowling ball up you nefarious nether regions.
I just dont understand why after a childhood of abuse and neglect, a marriage to an abusive drug addict (whom I call dad and havent spoken to in years), working in sweat shops (literally) to make a meager wage and raise her four children properly, the deaths of two of said children, the falling out with a son that will never speak to her again, and the contempt and animosity her in-laws subjugate her with must she also face this?
I just wish I could bear this burden for her. I wish I could reach into her and take the illness into my own body. I would gladly sacrifice myself if she could just be happy and well for once in her life. I just dont want her life to end like this. Not like this.
for those I love, I will sacrifice
****
Further update:
My mother has to go through chemo now. The surgery didn't get it all and there's enough there to force their hand and give her treatments. Thye said it should get everything this time... but they said nothing about being optimistic.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope she pulls through. Take care man.
And I mean that very sincerely.
Do rock.
DTH!