MC Lars - Generic Crunk Song
I know it's a little old but I can't stop listening to it. Truth hold up over time and all, right?
****
I've been listening to Zero 7's Somersault a lot lately. It makes me feel warm and cozy in my heart, you know? It reminds me that there really are feelings like that and makes me wonder if that's what we're all looking for. Some sort of connection, some sort of feeling of needing and being desired...
I will admit that those feelings may have been a large motivator in the decision to go through with the whole marriage thing. Don't get me wrong, the feelings of "love" and whatnot were and still are definitely present, but at the same time it's nice being with someone that wants you to be with them. Someone that makes you fee like you belong and are needed, someone that'll love you and give you those stupidly ridiculous glassy doe eyes whenever you look in their direction for a little longer than you really need to.
I know where I stand with her and I like that. But at the same time, I wonder if (A) this was the right decision and (B) if it will actually last. Perhaps it's just my own need to make things more difficult than they are or should be, or my inability to just BE.
I just know that there are people that I wish I could have been with for just a second longer. Unrequited and unfinished romances, friends to hang out with, and people to visit that I won't be able to anymore. There are people that I think about while laying in bed before I sleep and wonder what things could have been...
At the same time I can't help but wonder how long this will last before I mess it up. There's a reason I list my occupation as "professional fuck-up". I always do manage to mess things up in the end. Be it consciously or not, things always get ruined by my hands.
I know it's a little old but I can't stop listening to it. Truth hold up over time and all, right?
****
I've been listening to Zero 7's Somersault a lot lately. It makes me feel warm and cozy in my heart, you know? It reminds me that there really are feelings like that and makes me wonder if that's what we're all looking for. Some sort of connection, some sort of feeling of needing and being desired...
I will admit that those feelings may have been a large motivator in the decision to go through with the whole marriage thing. Don't get me wrong, the feelings of "love" and whatnot were and still are definitely present, but at the same time it's nice being with someone that wants you to be with them. Someone that makes you fee like you belong and are needed, someone that'll love you and give you those stupidly ridiculous glassy doe eyes whenever you look in their direction for a little longer than you really need to.
I know where I stand with her and I like that. But at the same time, I wonder if (A) this was the right decision and (B) if it will actually last. Perhaps it's just my own need to make things more difficult than they are or should be, or my inability to just BE.
I just know that there are people that I wish I could have been with for just a second longer. Unrequited and unfinished romances, friends to hang out with, and people to visit that I won't be able to anymore. There are people that I think about while laying in bed before I sleep and wonder what things could have been...
At the same time I can't help but wonder how long this will last before I mess it up. There's a reason I list my occupation as "professional fuck-up". I always do manage to mess things up in the end. Be it consciously or not, things always get ruined by my hands.
ouioui:
Ahhh sweety trust me on this one ... Just live in the moment. Thanks for the sweet comment.
xabluestarx:
you will do well together, have a little faith in yourself.