ive just had an epiphany like none other.
each one of us has a personality trait that can be either our greatest asset or our greatest flaw. for some its fierce independence, for others its a desperate innocence, but for me, ive realized tonight, its an almost fanatical dedication to logic. i dont know how to explain it, but... well, if you know me well enough, i think youll know what i mean. hrm... an example: some people are semi-nudists because they are free and open and crazy-happy with their bodies. some are exhibitionists. i, on the other hand, look at it like this: "clothes are primarily designed to retain heat. if its hot out, your body needs to release heat to stay functional. therefore, wearing clothes when its hot out doesnt make any sense, and as such we should all go naked in the summertime." you see? maybe thats kind of a weird example, but... well, you get the idea. i apply this sort of thinking to everything, and while it makes life much easier sometimes, at other times it severly impedes my emotional and social progress.
another example: if im not enjoying a cocktail party, i dont see why i cant just leave. the answer? "well, obviously because that would be an affront to the host!" what?!?!? what a bollocks social constraint! im not having a good time, but i should suffer for some vaguely defined social norm? fuck off! i finally, however, give in and play the game, to the point that when others defy the norms i get offended. its like... "if i have to play by the rules then you do too!" but then... why my constant sense of feeble rebellion since i was 15 or so? am i defying society, or am i defying myself trying to fit into society?
*sigh*
i dunno... it could just be a load of half-conceived bullshit, but... well...
yeah.
each one of us has a personality trait that can be either our greatest asset or our greatest flaw. for some its fierce independence, for others its a desperate innocence, but for me, ive realized tonight, its an almost fanatical dedication to logic. i dont know how to explain it, but... well, if you know me well enough, i think youll know what i mean. hrm... an example: some people are semi-nudists because they are free and open and crazy-happy with their bodies. some are exhibitionists. i, on the other hand, look at it like this: "clothes are primarily designed to retain heat. if its hot out, your body needs to release heat to stay functional. therefore, wearing clothes when its hot out doesnt make any sense, and as such we should all go naked in the summertime." you see? maybe thats kind of a weird example, but... well, you get the idea. i apply this sort of thinking to everything, and while it makes life much easier sometimes, at other times it severly impedes my emotional and social progress.
another example: if im not enjoying a cocktail party, i dont see why i cant just leave. the answer? "well, obviously because that would be an affront to the host!" what?!?!? what a bollocks social constraint! im not having a good time, but i should suffer for some vaguely defined social norm? fuck off! i finally, however, give in and play the game, to the point that when others defy the norms i get offended. its like... "if i have to play by the rules then you do too!" but then... why my constant sense of feeble rebellion since i was 15 or so? am i defying society, or am i defying myself trying to fit into society?
*sigh*
i dunno... it could just be a load of half-conceived bullshit, but... well...
yeah.