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metalwolf

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 7 Following 30

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Saturday Nov 04, 2006

Nov 4, 2006
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I face a delimma it seems tonight. I am invited to a going away party for a person who I never really knew or really paid much attension to. But the reason why I would want to go is to make peace with a girl I used to like there (chances are the girl going away is the one who made things bad between us). My best friend thinks I am crazy for going because he knows that going there means I am going to be in a room full of people I dont really like being around, people who dont really like being around me. All Iw ant to do really is sit down and talk with the girl and try to make peace about the stuff. However chances are this girl will probably be around alot of guys and want to do some pretty bad things and chances are I will be the one taking it into myself being disgusted and stuff. Meaning there is a 70% chance I will go there and get seriously hurt again and be depressed for a long amount of time and things will be much more worse between me and that girl. 30% chance that both of us would be standing on the same wave length about each other, start over anew and be a peace at least, if not friends then at least two people that dont have ill will for each other.

Honestly this party starts in 4 hours, chances are I wont know until I get there. Right now my plan is to bring a friend with me who is on better terms with everyone in the party since he is going to be leaving town soon anyway might as well bring him in and make a 2 people going away party and I will just hang with him, maybe use him as a safety raft or something.

Who knows really, its a big decision for me. Its so funny hearing everyone's opinion about the girl and I always try to deny that those things are true because I know that she is a good person but then when I hang around with her I see alot of these bad rumors nearly come alive and it just makes me feel betrayed sometimes. That is sort of how it all went sour so to speak. When Iw ould hang with the girl everyone around me told me that she sleeps around with lots of guys, does alot of drugs and honestly doesn't really give a damna bout you Corey. But when I am around her she does sort of care maybe, nowadays I wonder if it was through pity or actual real friendship who knows.

All I know is I want some peace and i told me friend if ther eis any excuse I want to go in there and go out with a blaze of glory at least. Either way I am always the odd man out in every place I am in even when I am with my friends so how worse could it be right?

If anything i can just pop in say my hellos, say the goodbyes and then just bolt out but then everyone would expect that from me since I am a really shy and sort of anti social guy.

Who knows, my gut says do it but be very wary of the surroundings and if things get too hot to handle just leave. I think that is the best course of action.

All I know is that there is a case of molson Canadian calling for me tonight, and it feels like I am going to need it tonight.

Later folks.

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