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T-minus one week until I finish my twenty-third trip around the sun. biggrin

T-minus six days until my account goes gray. frown

I'm hoping my next "paycheck" looks good. Or maybe the one after that. Sucks that my account will be inactive a day before my birthday, but hopefully I'll make enough money within the next couple of weeks to reactivate it.

Also, paycheck is in quotation...
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kurosune:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!!!!!!!
copernicus_:
Happy Birthday. Sorry I'm late.frown
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My birthday's coming up in ten days, and my account will probably be inactive at that point.

Dammit. whatever
stcyr:
frown


Seriously, it's a bummer, but I understand,
and again
hurry back.

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I should be asleep right now. But I don't have to be at the god-awful job of mine until 3:30 tomorrow afternoon, so whatevs.

Good news is, I finally got a computer. I didn't get my old one back. The fucking tool who's supposed to be fixing it has had it for almost three months, and doesn't seem to understand that if I don't finish...
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stcyr:
hurry back,
I like you here too smile
spitfire:
I hope that lots and lots of money somehow makes it your way.
And good luck with your courses!!
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Holy shit. I somehow managed to get a new job, one that I thought I'd like. But so far, I can't stand it. All it's been is stress stress stress. Starting a new job is always stressful, but I feel like this is really starting to take its toll on me and I'm not sure I want to put up with it for much longer....
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brightredscream:
Hope better things come your way soon
curioustomcat:
How Long were you out of job? Long enough for the Transition being the problem?

Otherwise it is probably just not the right job for you...
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So uh... I just had my friend's boyfriend harass me through text messages because a few months ago he made me feel very uncomfortable with his texts, and I told her about it. He essentially came to me asking me to sleep with him (Without actually saying those words. But I'm not fucking stupid, I know what's going on when a guy randomly says he...
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krito:
thanks for the friend request! have a nice day! kisses
aepaul:
Just checking up on you. Hope things are getting better.
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A friend and I are planning a roadtrip out to California this summer. I love her to death, but alas, she can be a bit of flake sometimes. She's fucked me over before, so excuse me for being a bit skeptical about this trip we're supposed to take. I'm hoping this actually happens. I kind of really need it to happen. I had this realization....
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aepaul:
If you end up in SF, look me up. I'll be more than happy to show you around. It's a great town.

You NEED to follow your dreams. I learned the hard way that if you chase something other than your dreams, you'll end up with regrets. Nobody on their death bed regrets that they didn't work enough. They regret what they didn't do.

If Colorado doesn't feel like home, leave it.

Good luck!
aepaul:
El Sobrante's where my wife gets here tattoos done. Excellent tattoo shop there. It's pretty close to the Bay too, which is nice.

Yeah, if your friend flakes out, head out anyways. I kept leaving California and kept coming back. I love this state.
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My anxiety and paranoia are excruciating tonight. I wish they would simply leave me alone, living in fear can't be healthy. But, as a realist, I can't ignore how shitty this world and a lot of the people in it seem to be.

I need to focus on the things in this world that are beautiful. I need to find some sort of middle ground...
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aepaul:
Yeah, I do know. Keep at it though. I think right now your mindset is seeing wrong in everything.

You're in a deep depression right now and those aren't fun to deal with. But you have to keep going. You got a lot of life ahead of you yet.

Start some small goal setting, so you got something to strive for.
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My two cents on snow.

I fucking DESPISE snow. And having to drive after it's snowed. Why the fuck does it ALWAYS snow the day before I have to drive to work?? Pretty much every Monday and Tuesday for the past couple of months it's been snowing. Fuck that bullshit. I got in an accident a couple weeks ago because of this shit. If it...
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stcyr:
while I do love snow,
if it were a frequent occurrence, I'd undoubtedly be far less fond.
It's gotta become Spring there,
sometime?
aepaul:
No argument. My parents left Chicago when I was young and I don't miss the snow.

As for going back to school, yes, that will help big time. I hope your teachers kick ass and you get some fun classes. That will help you a lot.
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Sigh. Being in love with someone you'll never have causes the STUPIDEST, most annoying kind of pain.

So unbelievably ridiculous. No matter how many times I tell myself to just let it go, for some shitty reason, I can't. All I'm doing is making myself miserable, but nothing ever changes, no matter how hard I try to just move on. Maybe someday I'll find someone...
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stcyr:
It's natural, and normal, to lust after, and desire that which you don't
or can't
have.
When you feel the same way about that what you do have,
that's "love."

You will have it.
Someday.
Trust me. smile
aepaul:
Is there someone else you like? If so, shower that person with affection.

If there's no one else you like, keep your mind busy doing something else. If you keep thinking about him, you're just gonna get depressed.
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I'll be 23 in two months, but I'm just now starting to feel like I'm becoming an adult. When I think back to just a few years ago, I remember thinking that I was SUCH an adult, just because I was past the age of 18. Pffft. Looking back, I also realize just how wrong I was. I'm not saying I'm the most mature person...
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peachysweetlove:
Talking w. the other half about him meeting up with a buddy of his this morning after work (bright and earlygetting off at 10am) he commented that he hoped the guy wouldn't sleep in super late and I was like, you knowits funny because I cant sleep past 9am anymore. He agreed.and we laughed because thats our were getting to be adults moment. Even at 30yrs old, I still have them biggrin It's funny and fun at the same time ... you're right about always learning, growing and changing ....it's a lifelong process. The day you stop growing is probably the day you stop living.
aepaul:
Good luck!

Yeah, I did a lot of growing up between 18 and 23. I know what you mean. But good job putting things in order. You mentioned doing what you love. Make sure you stick to that. If you don't, you'll have regrets.
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Peace and love to Boston and all victims.

I do not care if I'm seen as a pessemistic bitch. I hate this world, and this is a perfect example of why. As long as there are people in this world, there will always be bad people in this world, people that will do horrible things like this. My heart is broken.

I'm just trying to...
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aepaul:
On the flip side, hundreds of regular people did everything they possibly could to help the victims. Those good people of Boston were true heroes. The news only reports the bad things, never the good.

And thanks for the kind words. love
brightredscream:
That's all we can do!
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So, uh... I wanna move to LA. The Rocky Mountains are amazing, I'll always consider them my home. But at the end of the day, it's still the same exact crap that I've been looking at for almost fifteen years straight, without seeing anything else. No vacations, no traveling whatsoever. So I wanna find a way to get out to LA for a bit....
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dizzy:
LA is a beautiful place. Most people that come here have no interest in experiencing anything outside of the recommended comfort zones. Truth is as open as this place is, most people never bother to look. It's not for everyone, especially those that ride in with an agenda. But like most major cities it's really difficult to know a place if you aren't willing to explore a little.
aepaul:
I used to live in Ventura and I've lived in Santa Barbara. So 45 minutes from LA, but not LA proper.

I've lived in SF, Seattle, Chicago, and Houston for big cities. I'd rate SF highest. Chicago's great, but winters are brutal, but then again, you live in the Rockies so they won't be bad for you. I love Houston, but you have to know Houston to love it. My closest friends have mostly moved out, so I could never live there again. Seattle sucked. Worst of the 4.

How does LA rate compared to them? This is hard to explain, but I'll give it a shot. LA fucking rules if you got money. If you don't, it sucks ass. I was a dot comer and back when we had money, we loved it. Then I lost it all (I'm an idiot, long story). And it sucked.

SF and Houston, you can still have fun if you're broke. LA, it's a lot harder to.

As for the people, I think Dizzy does a good job of explaining it. People there seem to be in a comfort zone and too many folks don't want to leave that comfort zone. RuPaul actually complained about that too.

I'd actually recommend SF over LA. Big time.