merrow

There are certain people who walk into a room and suddenly the gravitational pull of the earth reverses, charismatic waves emanate from their pulsing, pink auras, the angel chorus sings Alleluia in fortissimo praise, both genders fall to their knees in enamored supplication. All eyes, animal, mineral or vegetable, cannot help but look upon their splendor. Everyone wants to be their friend, their confidant, their lover, their support system.

I am not one of those people.

In fact, generally, I am not amazingly and instantly likeable in any way.

This divine flaw in my ability to socialize used to bother me to no end. Lately, however, I no longer honestly care. I actually dont want to be your best friend, to give you a gracious shoulder on which to lean in times of strife, to form a clique with you and your nearest and dearest. Those little angels do not sing fanfares for me, something for which I am still astoundingly grateful, and my lovers have scuffed knees for other nefarious reasons.

The before-mentioned embraced blemish of societal activity is perhaps the main reason why this site, this community, and this outlet has lost its draw upon me. In great doses, even the fringe, the extreme, and the hardcore begin to seem commonplace. The rebellion, those little, blurred tattoos, pierced nether bits, misspelled words and angry family members, ceases to thrill even a voyeur with only the most hedonistic aim.

SG is seductive because it is safe. And, for my goals of infinitesimal mutiny, its gotten far too safe. Amongst the ideas that this is an online community of peers, some naked and hot, some not so naked and hot, has also grown an overwhelmingly P.C. tone amongst several groups to which I belong. Really, why doesnt anyone ever say to some rabid hopeful that desperation is never attractive and persistent repetition really does not make you anymore alluring?

My sets are down, most of my pictures are gone, and Im preparing to willingly walk the plank off of this charter cruise of SG. I briefly entertained the notion of doing this for real or hanging around such a site till I too could become an oldtime clique leader. However, I have changed. (And, now, I feel like such a hypocrite.) I really have nothing else to say.

Que the angel chorus.