merrow

Lessons from this weekend:

Agnostics really are just pseudo nihilists without much panache.

Good deeds, like folding a strangers laundry, feeding hungry orphans, solving the final equation for cold fusion, should be as easy as sleeping with a coworker, stealing office supplies, and taking incriminating semi-nude photographs of oneself. However, the odds are stacked against us. Were all doomed. Purgatory doesnt seem like such a bad option.

Over-saturation in the classical music world causes ones brain to atrophy in regards to anything other than adagios, ariettas, and technique. I need new friends, friends who do not obsess over analyzing Bachs chorals or the theoretical dioramas of how modal music gave way to the modern key system.

You can find assistant dominatrix jobs online (I know this as a friend just took said assistant dominatrix jobDoes she get to sharpen things, heat up the wax?) and you can also find how to roast green coffee beans. How did the world exist before the Internet?

Termites eat through wood two times faster than normal when listening to rock music.

I doubt pornography has contributed greatly to the advancement of civilization, but damn, it has certainly sped up computer technology.

You can reference anything with Oh, when they thought I had a brain tumor and the entire room will fall silent, full of that awkward feeling, full of pity.

All porcupines float in water.



(side note - I'm now of drinking age! Goofy birthday pictures to follow shortly...)