merkat

When this is over, I'm going to become a much happier person because nothing is depressing in comparison to this. A much more productive person because without this pain, nothing is bad enough to hold me back. I'm going to get back into the gym, because I've lost so much of my kick ass muscle and without this pain, there is no real excuse. I'm going to do all the little things that we take for granted being able to painlessly do every single day and I'm going to be grateful every single time I do them. I'm going to go swimming, lay out in the sun, clean, run around, go shopping, go out, have fun, bend down to pick up stuff off the floor...sounds simple but it's one of the particularly grueling movements for me right now.

After going through this, none of my stupid tiredness or soreness or depression seems significant enough to interfere with my life at all. I didn't know what debilitation was before. Jesus.

Jason says he would take all this off of me and put it on his own body if he could. But the truth is, I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.