Baltimore. 2:40 a.m. Thunderstorms over. Lost power once for five minutes. Now it's ALLLLL gravy.
******
Today my friends, we take a trip down Mercie's Memory Lane.
Just some pictures, no crazy baby pics and shit, but fun stuff i dug up. Nostalgia, if you will.
These pictures were scanned so please try to ignore the quality for me....
Here we have me, in high school, June 1996, with my friends at lunch. Left to right: Cheryl (bitch), Lindsay (My most awesomest friend in high school), ME (told you guys I was a damned ugly duckling), and some chick named Theresa.
This was a picture that was in my high school yearbook, they did a four-page layout on the "unique" people of the school. Remember kids: UNIQUE = FREAK. But I was proud regardless.
And now... this car used to be my pride and joy, my 2000 Cavalier, aka The Cav, aka THE BITCH RIDE (note the sticker on the windshield). Oh yeah i sported the fuck out of it. (Nevermind the goober on the hood, one of Steve's friends. hee)
Here folks we have me at my bridal shower in early May 2002. Firstly, funny back story: I crashed my own shower by accident. Just drivin by my Pop's house, decided to stop in... didn't see the forty fuckin cars parked everywhere... it was funny as hell though they were all like "Surprise, you fuckin loser!" ANYWAY, this particular picture shows me holding up proudly the hanky that Steve's mother gave to me, she had one for each of her two sons' brides to carry down the isle, family heirloom thing from a great aunt... I heard about that hanky when I was 16, first dating Steve, and she was going through her hope chest and told me about them, and I thought to myself, "I'll be carrying that down the isle with Steve." And I did.
This is my Mommy and me on the night of my bachelorette party, one week before my wedding. Yeah my Mom was there with me, she's so fuckin RAD you have no idea!
Me taking a shot of some apple stuff that that crazy dude in the picture bought for me. Yeah Bachelorette party, note the veil on my head.
OK, I look like a FAT COW in this picture (I was about 150 pounds around this time, instead of my lean and trim 120) but it's great because I'm dancin on the bar in BAR Baltimore, as is allowed for ladies only. ha!
JESUS IS LORD. My brother Keith saw that sign in the church on the night of the wedding rehearsal, and he turns to me and says "Jesus is Lord!? Why didn't anyone tell me!?" haha love my brother.
Steve and I at our reception. (Once again, I look not only like a fat cow, but a GOOBER fat cow.)
Greg and Nick serenading one another at the reception. God only knows what they were singing. *lol* I love this picture.
Speakin of Greg, here's Jamie, Greg, and me at Steve's first show with his current band. This was not too long after he left me, like September or October I think. I was losing weight already from the stress.
And lastly, I end up here in my home in Lansdowne, with my best friend and roommate Deanna. I'm going to miss her terribly if/when i go live with my mom in Manchester, 40 minutes away.
OK, lalala memory lane kinda sucked, huh? Well, I still have my friends Jamie and Greg, and my new best pal Deanna. Those are all good things. But most of these memories don't hurt me anymore, only if I look at my wedding album, which has deftly remained UNPACKED since I moved in November.
******
Evenescence, My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
(chorus)
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
(chorus)
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
(chorus)
** I discovered this song not too long after Steve left me last year, long before it was a single on the radio, and it made me cry when I heard it. It was as if I could write a song, this is what I would have written. I still have a hard time listening to it even now.
******
A poem I wrote today:
the calm before the storm
it's invigorating
the world stands still
just before
the smell of rain
reminds me of your skin
tastes like the wound
you left on me
the sound of the wind
rushing through the trees
revives the feeling
i get with you
it's coming.
******
Outkast's song "Roses" is the fucking SHIZNIT. I fuckin love that song and can't stop listening to it.
******
AHHHHHHHH! It's almost over!!
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY!!!!
1. Don't you hate it when someone you're mad at makes you laugh and you're like, "No, dammit, I'm MAD at you!"?
2. Thoughts on my poem? What you think it's about? Criticism? etc.? (If I move in with my family, I am SO getting in a band with my brothers. I need practice starting with poetry again before i can even attempt lyrics.)
3. Tell me what you think is a funny word and why.
******
Entertaining AIM conversation:
HIM: beeboodahbeh
HIM: if i have enough money for gas i mayhaps come down tomorrow if you promise to take a shower
ME: LOL dick. i even washed my damn sheets tonight, smelly. so YOU take a shower too.
HIM: oh.. and i pee on your face
Can you feel the love??
******
footnote: just to clear things up, for those who don't know the whole story, I am separated from my husband Steve, I am still technically married, but most likely in July, per our agreement, we'll be filing for divorce. We're still super duper friends, so I still talk to him and he's still in my life to a point.
******
Today my friends, we take a trip down Mercie's Memory Lane.
Just some pictures, no crazy baby pics and shit, but fun stuff i dug up. Nostalgia, if you will.
These pictures were scanned so please try to ignore the quality for me....
Here we have me, in high school, June 1996, with my friends at lunch. Left to right: Cheryl (bitch), Lindsay (My most awesomest friend in high school), ME (told you guys I was a damned ugly duckling), and some chick named Theresa.
This was a picture that was in my high school yearbook, they did a four-page layout on the "unique" people of the school. Remember kids: UNIQUE = FREAK. But I was proud regardless.
And now... this car used to be my pride and joy, my 2000 Cavalier, aka The Cav, aka THE BITCH RIDE (note the sticker on the windshield). Oh yeah i sported the fuck out of it. (Nevermind the goober on the hood, one of Steve's friends. hee)
Here folks we have me at my bridal shower in early May 2002. Firstly, funny back story: I crashed my own shower by accident. Just drivin by my Pop's house, decided to stop in... didn't see the forty fuckin cars parked everywhere... it was funny as hell though they were all like "Surprise, you fuckin loser!" ANYWAY, this particular picture shows me holding up proudly the hanky that Steve's mother gave to me, she had one for each of her two sons' brides to carry down the isle, family heirloom thing from a great aunt... I heard about that hanky when I was 16, first dating Steve, and she was going through her hope chest and told me about them, and I thought to myself, "I'll be carrying that down the isle with Steve." And I did.
This is my Mommy and me on the night of my bachelorette party, one week before my wedding. Yeah my Mom was there with me, she's so fuckin RAD you have no idea!
Me taking a shot of some apple stuff that that crazy dude in the picture bought for me. Yeah Bachelorette party, note the veil on my head.
OK, I look like a FAT COW in this picture (I was about 150 pounds around this time, instead of my lean and trim 120) but it's great because I'm dancin on the bar in BAR Baltimore, as is allowed for ladies only. ha!
JESUS IS LORD. My brother Keith saw that sign in the church on the night of the wedding rehearsal, and he turns to me and says "Jesus is Lord!? Why didn't anyone tell me!?" haha love my brother.
Steve and I at our reception. (Once again, I look not only like a fat cow, but a GOOBER fat cow.)
Greg and Nick serenading one another at the reception. God only knows what they were singing. *lol* I love this picture.
Speakin of Greg, here's Jamie, Greg, and me at Steve's first show with his current band. This was not too long after he left me, like September or October I think. I was losing weight already from the stress.
And lastly, I end up here in my home in Lansdowne, with my best friend and roommate Deanna. I'm going to miss her terribly if/when i go live with my mom in Manchester, 40 minutes away.
OK, lalala memory lane kinda sucked, huh? Well, I still have my friends Jamie and Greg, and my new best pal Deanna. Those are all good things. But most of these memories don't hurt me anymore, only if I look at my wedding album, which has deftly remained UNPACKED since I moved in November.
******
Evenescence, My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
(chorus)
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
(chorus)
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
(chorus)
** I discovered this song not too long after Steve left me last year, long before it was a single on the radio, and it made me cry when I heard it. It was as if I could write a song, this is what I would have written. I still have a hard time listening to it even now.
******
A poem I wrote today:
the calm before the storm
it's invigorating
the world stands still
just before
the smell of rain
reminds me of your skin
tastes like the wound
you left on me
the sound of the wind
rushing through the trees
revives the feeling
i get with you
it's coming.
******
Outkast's song "Roses" is the fucking SHIZNIT. I fuckin love that song and can't stop listening to it.
******
AHHHHHHHH! It's almost over!!
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY!!!!
1. Don't you hate it when someone you're mad at makes you laugh and you're like, "No, dammit, I'm MAD at you!"?
2. Thoughts on my poem? What you think it's about? Criticism? etc.? (If I move in with my family, I am SO getting in a band with my brothers. I need practice starting with poetry again before i can even attempt lyrics.)
3. Tell me what you think is a funny word and why.
******
Entertaining AIM conversation:
HIM: beeboodahbeh
HIM: if i have enough money for gas i mayhaps come down tomorrow if you promise to take a shower
ME: LOL dick. i even washed my damn sheets tonight, smelly. so YOU take a shower too.
HIM: oh.. and i pee on your face
Can you feel the love??
******
footnote: just to clear things up, for those who don't know the whole story, I am separated from my husband Steve, I am still technically married, but most likely in July, per our agreement, we'll be filing for divorce. We're still super duper friends, so I still talk to him and he's still in my life to a point.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
wonderful pictures. i love reminicing.
1. Yes. It makes me want to punch them.
2. Very good my love. Captures a lot of feeling with a few words.. I dig it.
3. Perturbed. Because it's describing being pissed off but it sounds so damn funny. Seriously if someone was mad at you and said "I am so perturbed by you" you would just laugh. It can't be said seriously without sounding idiotic.