4:01 p.m., edited to add:
OK, I'm banning myself from myspace, I'm sick of seeing the interaction between Jay and this chick. I feel like a psycho stalker, but it's hard to let go when such things are readily available to look at.... and especially since i got NO kind of closure on the whole thing... Once again, I reiterate - glutton for punishment and self-torture. There's something wrong with me, really.
******
OK, it's 1:52 p.m., I just got up (don't be jealous remember I'm fucking BROKE) and I have a few things for my journal today....
******
First of all, allow me to ponder aloud why it is I seek out guys who mistreat me? I'm talking to this guy who first of all lives about an hour away, and still lives at home with the 'rents (he just turned 21), so if he and I get together he has to travel down my way. I am completely at his whim, whenever he has the time, then he'll come down... Secondly, he has a deathwish like no one I've ever met or heard of. I won't even get into details, it's just sad. What kills me is that he's so fucking intelligent, I know I learn something new from him every time we talk, and he knows what he's doing to himself (as far as drugs and alcohol) and he doesn't care. Furthermore, he really only cares about two people in the whole world, his two year old daughter and his sis. We got into this last night during a conversation on AIM, he took a jab at me about not having a job, and I was like "Hey, fuck you for throwing that in there you bastard." He said "Now if I had any feelings that might have hurt them." I said "You have yet to show me you have feelings for anything except your daughter and sis." He says "I don't have anything else to care about in this world." I said "Thanks for that. On that note, I'm going to bed." He writes back "Don't be upset just because I'm not delusional." I just wrote back "You confuse me." and I signed off AIM. Let him wonder. I'm tired of chasing after people who don't care about me. Really I am.
I would have posted this conversation but we had a power failure last night and I lost my AIM window it was in when my computer died of course..... I just wonder why I like all this abuse, really.
******
On a lighter note, a friend and I were discussing penis size last night. Yeah I know how this conversation started but I'm not getting into that much backstory.... SO, my topic for today is this: Any guy who says he hasn't measured his penis is a fucking liar. Not necessarily with a frigging measuring tape or a ruler, but in some way, shape or form....
I've also found that a man's height and build have a lot to do with their penis size. I think it's a messed up fact of life that women don't know what they're getting into when they meet a guy, i think all men should have their penis size tattooed on their forehead because size does matter!! BUT, I've found that any guy over 5'9" with a fairly lean build is OK. I haven't met anyone to disprove this theory yet. So, like I said last night, Anyone under 5'9, hit the road jack!! Sorry short guys, until my theory is disproved, no Mercie for you....
******
Rufio, IN MY EYES
(Chorus)
Your graceful,
Your grace falls,
Down around me in my eyes
Your lovely,
Your love leaves,
So easily in my eyes
Another day left waiting,
Alone in my room with no calls from you
So I call you up, But you let me down
Falling down around everyone but yourself
(Pre-chorus)
I thought that this would never end,
Things were so clear but they fell through
High hopes of problems never failed,
Thinking of the best.
(Chorus)
Another day left crying,
with you in my room with nothing left to do
You say that its not right, You said its over now
Stand still annoyed, with no one around
(Pre-chorus)
(Chorus)
**Such a lovely song. I love the play on words with "grace falls" and "Love leaves"....
******
How much are you worth if you were for sale?? Find out, it's a trip...
Human For Sale
Fair warning, have your pop-up swatter ready....
I was worth about $1,547,000.
Frickin ProphetNoise was worth like $2,500,000. I personally think it had something to do with his penis size, which he won't reveal. But if my theory stands true....
******
And now, have you ever gotten one of those e-mail surveys that ask "How much do you really know about your friends?" Well I got one last night and it was the normal stuff, and then ProphetNoise sent me HIS version of these things. It's quite long, so feel free to either not answer or send it to me in an e-mail or something. But it's rather funny, and I had to post it in lieu of those gay surveys were USUALLY get.... along with my answers....
THE PROPHETNOISE SURVEY
1-Who the fuck are you? Mercie
2-What do you want? money
3-Most recent injury? shredded pinky nail
4-Coolest Injury? busted my head open and it left a scar on my forehead. Scars rule.
5-Funniest thing you heard this week? nothing - something about drinking formaldahyde to have preserved looking skin.
6-Have you ever made fun of someone for something stupid they did or said? of course.
7-Have you ever made fun of someone for something they could not help or change? yeah I was at the Renaissance festival a couple years ago and it was like the Hearing Impaired Day, and I said to my ex's mother something about how this one dude looked cracked out, and she said "Shh! Don't say that!" and I said "Why? He can't hear me." ahaha still cracks me up.
8-Favorite Artists? Jack Vettriano.
9-Favorite living musicians without a record deal? Well I have to say my ex's band, but they JUST got a record deal, does that count?....
10-Favorite Porn Star? Jenna Jameson, of course.
11-Person who's mere presence makes you want to bludgen them? my ex's CUNT girlfriend.
12-Do you own any weapons? (list) yeah an SKS Chinese assault rifle. (I'm so not kidding.)
13-Coolest/sweetest revenge you've ever gotten on someone? Every time I go to my ex Steve's shows for his band, his girlfriend runs away crying. Sweet.
14-Ever hook up with a foreigner? nope
15-Are YOU a foreigner? nope
16-Favorite Serial Killer? mmm... tough one. I read a LOT about serial killers, but the one who got me interested was the Zodiac killer, so I'll say him.
17-Least Favorite candy? Almond Joy. Blech.
18-Least favorite religion? all of them. They're just tools for controlling people.
19-Favorite Holiday? I used to really love Christmas, because Steve's family was so into it... but it was just fucking depressing this year without them around.
20-Least Favorite Holiday? Boss's Day. Fuck them they make more money than me I ain't givin them shit.
21-Nicest penis you've ever seen in person(not including your boyfriend's or your own)? The penis of the guy who won't DO me for god's sake.
22-Nicest cooch you've ever seen in person(not including your girlfriend's
or your own)? This beautiful stripper's, last time i went to the strip club... it was all pink and petite. hah
23-Nicest Boobs you've ever seen in person? hmmm, the same stripper, who let me touch her breast when i saw her in the ladies' room because she was talking about how she just got implants like two months ago and they felt so REAL. (Why yes, they did.)
24-Ever fart during sex? nope, it's impossible. For me anyway.
25-Ever piss or shit during sex? Accidentally or On
purpose? nope nope gross.
26-Are you dead? undead.
27-Have you ever killed anything with a central nervous system? yeah i shot a bird with a bebe gun by accident once and i still feel bad to this day. I was like nine.
28-Can you swim? yes, most def.
29-List the drugs you've done: christ, uh, marijuana, LSD, E.
30-Do you eat Veal? no, not ever ever, that's a baby cow!!
31-Have you ever gone fishing? of course.
32-Have you ever vomited on someone else? haha nope...
33-Are women good drivers? eh sometimes. we beat out the old people at least.
34-Can you cook? yeah you want spaghetti or Ramen noodles?
35-Can you dance? like a club slut.
36-Don't you miss Phil Hartman? who?
38- Where did 37 go? lost in space
39-If you were filthy rich and moderately famous, who would you invite to a party? Who would you not allow in? It would be a private party between me and BAM MARGERA - yeah you KNEW you couldn't get away without hearing about BAM in this journal!!!! And you KNOW his fucking girlfriend wouldn't be allowed in! MUAHAHA
40-Have you ever had a gun pulled on you? yeah during laser tag.
41-Have you ever been shot at? yeah i got killed in laser tag.
42-Have you ever seen anyone else get shot? once again....
43-Was it you who shot them? most def. i drop motherfuckers during the laser tag yo.
44-What places other than a toilet bowl have you taken a dump? um, i pooped in the woods once when i was like 6.
45-Mother Theresa . . .Saint or Slut? she's a cool chick. saint.
46-What ever happened to the 4th Amendment in this country? what's the 4th amendment again?
47-Dont you hate pants? on a hot guy, yeah, take em off fucker.
48-Have you ever burned an american flag and why?
hell naw i'm an Air Force Brat I'd be killed.
49-Are you exited? It's almost over! THANKG GOD!!!!!!
50-Why the hell did you just waste all that time
fillin this shit out? To humor my dear ProphetNoise!!!!
Peace out.
OK, I'm banning myself from myspace, I'm sick of seeing the interaction between Jay and this chick. I feel like a psycho stalker, but it's hard to let go when such things are readily available to look at.... and especially since i got NO kind of closure on the whole thing... Once again, I reiterate - glutton for punishment and self-torture. There's something wrong with me, really.
******
OK, it's 1:52 p.m., I just got up (don't be jealous remember I'm fucking BROKE) and I have a few things for my journal today....
******
First of all, allow me to ponder aloud why it is I seek out guys who mistreat me? I'm talking to this guy who first of all lives about an hour away, and still lives at home with the 'rents (he just turned 21), so if he and I get together he has to travel down my way. I am completely at his whim, whenever he has the time, then he'll come down... Secondly, he has a deathwish like no one I've ever met or heard of. I won't even get into details, it's just sad. What kills me is that he's so fucking intelligent, I know I learn something new from him every time we talk, and he knows what he's doing to himself (as far as drugs and alcohol) and he doesn't care. Furthermore, he really only cares about two people in the whole world, his two year old daughter and his sis. We got into this last night during a conversation on AIM, he took a jab at me about not having a job, and I was like "Hey, fuck you for throwing that in there you bastard." He said "Now if I had any feelings that might have hurt them." I said "You have yet to show me you have feelings for anything except your daughter and sis." He says "I don't have anything else to care about in this world." I said "Thanks for that. On that note, I'm going to bed." He writes back "Don't be upset just because I'm not delusional." I just wrote back "You confuse me." and I signed off AIM. Let him wonder. I'm tired of chasing after people who don't care about me. Really I am.
I would have posted this conversation but we had a power failure last night and I lost my AIM window it was in when my computer died of course..... I just wonder why I like all this abuse, really.
******
On a lighter note, a friend and I were discussing penis size last night. Yeah I know how this conversation started but I'm not getting into that much backstory.... SO, my topic for today is this: Any guy who says he hasn't measured his penis is a fucking liar. Not necessarily with a frigging measuring tape or a ruler, but in some way, shape or form....
I've also found that a man's height and build have a lot to do with their penis size. I think it's a messed up fact of life that women don't know what they're getting into when they meet a guy, i think all men should have their penis size tattooed on their forehead because size does matter!! BUT, I've found that any guy over 5'9" with a fairly lean build is OK. I haven't met anyone to disprove this theory yet. So, like I said last night, Anyone under 5'9, hit the road jack!! Sorry short guys, until my theory is disproved, no Mercie for you....
******
Rufio, IN MY EYES
(Chorus)
Your graceful,
Your grace falls,
Down around me in my eyes
Your lovely,
Your love leaves,
So easily in my eyes
Another day left waiting,
Alone in my room with no calls from you
So I call you up, But you let me down
Falling down around everyone but yourself
(Pre-chorus)
I thought that this would never end,
Things were so clear but they fell through
High hopes of problems never failed,
Thinking of the best.
(Chorus)
Another day left crying,
with you in my room with nothing left to do
You say that its not right, You said its over now
Stand still annoyed, with no one around
(Pre-chorus)
(Chorus)
**Such a lovely song. I love the play on words with "grace falls" and "Love leaves"....
******
How much are you worth if you were for sale?? Find out, it's a trip...
Human For Sale
Fair warning, have your pop-up swatter ready....
I was worth about $1,547,000.
Frickin ProphetNoise was worth like $2,500,000. I personally think it had something to do with his penis size, which he won't reveal. But if my theory stands true....
******
And now, have you ever gotten one of those e-mail surveys that ask "How much do you really know about your friends?" Well I got one last night and it was the normal stuff, and then ProphetNoise sent me HIS version of these things. It's quite long, so feel free to either not answer or send it to me in an e-mail or something. But it's rather funny, and I had to post it in lieu of those gay surveys were USUALLY get.... along with my answers....
THE PROPHETNOISE SURVEY
1-Who the fuck are you? Mercie
2-What do you want? money
3-Most recent injury? shredded pinky nail
4-Coolest Injury? busted my head open and it left a scar on my forehead. Scars rule.
5-Funniest thing you heard this week? nothing - something about drinking formaldahyde to have preserved looking skin.
6-Have you ever made fun of someone for something stupid they did or said? of course.
7-Have you ever made fun of someone for something they could not help or change? yeah I was at the Renaissance festival a couple years ago and it was like the Hearing Impaired Day, and I said to my ex's mother something about how this one dude looked cracked out, and she said "Shh! Don't say that!" and I said "Why? He can't hear me." ahaha still cracks me up.
8-Favorite Artists? Jack Vettriano.
9-Favorite living musicians without a record deal? Well I have to say my ex's band, but they JUST got a record deal, does that count?....
10-Favorite Porn Star? Jenna Jameson, of course.
11-Person who's mere presence makes you want to bludgen them? my ex's CUNT girlfriend.
12-Do you own any weapons? (list) yeah an SKS Chinese assault rifle. (I'm so not kidding.)
13-Coolest/sweetest revenge you've ever gotten on someone? Every time I go to my ex Steve's shows for his band, his girlfriend runs away crying. Sweet.
14-Ever hook up with a foreigner? nope
15-Are YOU a foreigner? nope
16-Favorite Serial Killer? mmm... tough one. I read a LOT about serial killers, but the one who got me interested was the Zodiac killer, so I'll say him.
17-Least Favorite candy? Almond Joy. Blech.
18-Least favorite religion? all of them. They're just tools for controlling people.
19-Favorite Holiday? I used to really love Christmas, because Steve's family was so into it... but it was just fucking depressing this year without them around.
20-Least Favorite Holiday? Boss's Day. Fuck them they make more money than me I ain't givin them shit.
21-Nicest penis you've ever seen in person(not including your boyfriend's or your own)? The penis of the guy who won't DO me for god's sake.
22-Nicest cooch you've ever seen in person(not including your girlfriend's
or your own)? This beautiful stripper's, last time i went to the strip club... it was all pink and petite. hah
23-Nicest Boobs you've ever seen in person? hmmm, the same stripper, who let me touch her breast when i saw her in the ladies' room because she was talking about how she just got implants like two months ago and they felt so REAL. (Why yes, they did.)
24-Ever fart during sex? nope, it's impossible. For me anyway.
25-Ever piss or shit during sex? Accidentally or On
purpose? nope nope gross.
26-Are you dead? undead.
27-Have you ever killed anything with a central nervous system? yeah i shot a bird with a bebe gun by accident once and i still feel bad to this day. I was like nine.
28-Can you swim? yes, most def.
29-List the drugs you've done: christ, uh, marijuana, LSD, E.
30-Do you eat Veal? no, not ever ever, that's a baby cow!!
31-Have you ever gone fishing? of course.
32-Have you ever vomited on someone else? haha nope...
33-Are women good drivers? eh sometimes. we beat out the old people at least.
34-Can you cook? yeah you want spaghetti or Ramen noodles?
35-Can you dance? like a club slut.
36-Don't you miss Phil Hartman? who?
38- Where did 37 go? lost in space
39-If you were filthy rich and moderately famous, who would you invite to a party? Who would you not allow in? It would be a private party between me and BAM MARGERA - yeah you KNEW you couldn't get away without hearing about BAM in this journal!!!! And you KNOW his fucking girlfriend wouldn't be allowed in! MUAHAHA
40-Have you ever had a gun pulled on you? yeah during laser tag.
41-Have you ever been shot at? yeah i got killed in laser tag.
42-Have you ever seen anyone else get shot? once again....
43-Was it you who shot them? most def. i drop motherfuckers during the laser tag yo.
44-What places other than a toilet bowl have you taken a dump? um, i pooped in the woods once when i was like 6.
45-Mother Theresa . . .Saint or Slut? she's a cool chick. saint.
46-What ever happened to the 4th Amendment in this country? what's the 4th amendment again?
47-Dont you hate pants? on a hot guy, yeah, take em off fucker.
48-Have you ever burned an american flag and why?
hell naw i'm an Air Force Brat I'd be killed.
49-Are you exited? It's almost over! THANKG GOD!!!!!!
50-Why the hell did you just waste all that time
fillin this shit out? To humor my dear ProphetNoise!!!!
Peace out.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
as for that guy..........get away........RUN!