OK, no amount of happy thoughts are going to help me now.
Let's review my life since my husband left me back in July 2003:
- Got a new house in November. Living on my own for the first time ever.
- Got a Camaro, my dream car. Cool.
- Got a roommate, Deanna. Cool.
- Get fired the first week of January. Not cool.
- My boss contests my unemployment, so I don't get any. Not cool.
- I have no job.
- My dating life is nothing but a slew of useless pricks that treat me like shit, and if they are nice, they don't know what they've got and forget about me anyway.
- I have no money and had to restort to asking the fam to give me my car payment. Which is about a week late already.
- And now, the mother of all the bombs, Deanna just told me it's too hard for her to live on her own here, and she's probably going to move out in a month. So now I begin a search for a new FEMALE roommate, I don't want another guy around to irritate me all the time. Sorry Guys, you're just a pain in my ass, and I need female bonding going on around here.
Soooo, now my search is expanded to not only finding a fucking job, now I need to get a new roommate. I don't want to move in with my mom if I can help it, it wouldn't be a bad gig I know, but I like living on my own, and actually do like having my responsibilities, when I can take care of them for god's sake.
I'm going to chain smoke now. And write my brother that letter. Never got to do it last night. Now I can, lord knows I have the time.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
"GIVING UP"
I used to make the light shine for you.
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows.
Ive sacrificed my pride.
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me.
Ive laid myself to sleep tonight.
I know youve played out everything in your mind.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me.
Ive laid myself to sleep tonight.
I know youve played out everything in your mind.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
And when you feel the pain,
Im wishing I could stay.
How can I say I love you back,
you never made me happy.
Youve laid yourself to sleep,
I never said this wouldnt hurt.
You gave up everything;
I never said Id give it back.
I know youll never change;
I wont be good enough for you.
I know, youll make it through,
Ill never be around to see.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
Youre giving up on me.
Question of the day:
Who is the band that wrote the above song?
Let's review my life since my husband left me back in July 2003:
- Got a new house in November. Living on my own for the first time ever.
- Got a Camaro, my dream car. Cool.
- Got a roommate, Deanna. Cool.
- Get fired the first week of January. Not cool.
- My boss contests my unemployment, so I don't get any. Not cool.
- I have no job.
- My dating life is nothing but a slew of useless pricks that treat me like shit, and if they are nice, they don't know what they've got and forget about me anyway.
- I have no money and had to restort to asking the fam to give me my car payment. Which is about a week late already.
- And now, the mother of all the bombs, Deanna just told me it's too hard for her to live on her own here, and she's probably going to move out in a month. So now I begin a search for a new FEMALE roommate, I don't want another guy around to irritate me all the time. Sorry Guys, you're just a pain in my ass, and I need female bonding going on around here.
Soooo, now my search is expanded to not only finding a fucking job, now I need to get a new roommate. I don't want to move in with my mom if I can help it, it wouldn't be a bad gig I know, but I like living on my own, and actually do like having my responsibilities, when I can take care of them for god's sake.
I'm going to chain smoke now. And write my brother that letter. Never got to do it last night. Now I can, lord knows I have the time.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
"GIVING UP"
I used to make the light shine for you.
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows.
Ive sacrificed my pride.
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me.
Ive laid myself to sleep tonight.
I know youve played out everything in your mind.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me (giving up on me)
Youre giving up on me.
Ive laid myself to sleep tonight.
I know youve played out everything in your mind.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
And when you feel the pain,
Im wishing I could stay.
How can I say I love you back,
you never made me happy.
Youve laid yourself to sleep,
I never said this wouldnt hurt.
You gave up everything;
I never said Id give it back.
I know youll never change;
I wont be good enough for you.
I know, youll make it through,
Ill never be around to see.
And now you throw it all away.
A shattered memory that you would stay,
through thick and thin with me.
Youre giving up on me.
Question of the day:
Who is the band that wrote the above song?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I wish I had some inspirational type of shit to tell you. All I've got is that I'm going to be 28 in about two weeks and I've had a lot of terrible shit go down in that 28 years. But I'm still chuggin' along. I still have my dreams. I was your age when I met M_A_Y, I had just moved back to IL after my band left me in LA alone and my girlfriend of 5 years had dropped me like a bad habit. I was fucking low. Things will be better, maybe not tomorrow, but they will be. You're smart, creative and beautiful. There's no reason you won't be okay.
*stepping down from soapbox*
Do you like the band A Static Lulliby? Off subject, I'm just curious. I've been really missing playing music lately. If I move back to Chicago to be with M_A_Y, I already have another guitarist and a bass player with a practice space. That might be the next chapter for me.
Feel free to vent to me whenever you want.
Lou
edited to say that I just realized that "Giving Up" is the only Silverstein song I have on my ipod. Weird, like it was meant to be.
[Edited on Apr 22, 2004 12:11AM]