mephausto

do you remember when they promised you your dreams? when they told you the world would be just and give you all that you would want? do you remember the day that you were promised everything?

do you remember the day that they took it all away? the time when that one event, that one person drained you of your wishes and hopes?

perhaps it was a little less than traumatizing, perhaps it was entirely so. perhaps you can't remember but will later, and perhaps you can't help but do so everyday.

I remember the day I left God alone. I remember the day my dreams passed away. I remember the songs that played, the thoughts that occured, the wide-eyed realization taht came along with my first introduction to disillusion.

today is another day of giving it all up. today is another day of leaving it all alone. today is another day of keeping my hopes at bay, subduing my dreams, and letting go. today is another day of working from the bottom.

I don't particularly care for fantasy, and I don't particularly like reality, but somedays you just work with what you have, as little as it may be.

I gave up on God to begin with
and I gave up on humanity a long time ago
I've given up on my dreams lately
and I'll give up on you, too.

I'll never give myself up
not to you
not to anyone
or anything.

"mad road driving, men ahead..."