menstrualslushie

ok if you don't want to here me bitch... please don't read the folowing..



CHRIST!
my mom came down yesterday.. unbenouced to me untill she was knocking on my door.. thankfully she's leavign this afternoon....
her reason for comming up here?
she says to jus "see" he beautifull daughter..
i'm sure there was a hidden agenda..
menwhile while she bitched at me for not cleaning house right...
and having no food in my appartment...but what the hell am i supose to do ...
i live on an avrage of 200 every two weeks
prolly the thing that bugs me most about my mother now.. is how dry she acts around me.. as if i'm the scum of the earth.. just becase i got arrested.... what a bitch... there is ALLWAYS conditions to unconditional love....

my roommate rolls over and looks at me this morning.. and says
"hey, how you gonna pay rent?"
how am *I* going to pay rent...
how are *you* going to pay rent... you jobless dickhead..
whatever.. i shouldn't be mad.. he saved my ass this last month... and put rent on his credit card....
but JESUS...
i'm just spiraling more into debt?
and why?
becase i want to do what i WANT to do.. and not give up my time up to anything meaningless?
what happend to the american dream?
where you got to do what you wanted to do.. and be happy...
and i don't mean be a millonare and be happy.. just not have to worrie every hour about how your going to put gas in your car or pay your water bill...
then again.. it comes to the point where i have to say?
Why am i worring about this anyway.. why dose money get me so worked up and so unhappy?
anyway.. i got to go to work...
i'll come back less bitchy....
hopefully..