menotyou

I once lied so hard my pants caught on fire. Yeah...well...the lie was about crabs. And slutty hookers. And Edward James Olmos. And a baker named Martino. I'd like to see you lie that hard.

When I meet someone new I sometimes find it entertaining to throw out some random piece of craziness...then end the sentence with, "...that was back in Nam". Try it sometime. Their reaction is better than a watching a Carebear getting gang raped.

This one time I was forced to give a man a tracheotomy with nothing but a cigarette filter, two pieces of Bubble Yum, and a spoon....that was back in Nam.

Or perhaps...
I saw God once. No seriously. He told me he loves gays and black people but Mexicans are dirty and unnatural....that was back in Nam.

I like to follow that up with a racist joke that "accidentally" confuses Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, and Vietnamese. This purposeful mixing of races will add a sophisticated twist morphing the joke into an intentional satire targeting bigots who honestly can not tell the difference. However only people with a sufficiently evolved sense of humor will comprehend the word play, and if they don't then, at least for me, the joke is on them.