Today i am sick and tired of it!
Yes sick and tired of myself and the things i do and don't do and the things i should be doing. How can i explain it? I have always been a pretty spirtual aware being and i just basicly soak up anything that has to do with spirituality, cultures, believe systems, religions, mind state's etc etc. But in that whole journey to personal enlightment/ knowledge/whateveryouwanttocallit, It seems that i always find enlightment in my Lighter.
How two faced is it, that i don't practice what i preach to myself or maybe radiate to others? Who am i to complain about my everylasting weight battle, while besides me eating an drinking pretty healthy, i don't exercise on a daily basis? Who am i to zone out in a book about other way's of thinking, when i "reward" myself with a ciggie after i feel that i have focused enough on work. Why do i feed my insecurities, while i am the one that starts feeding them, without taking any action. Why do i complain about work, while i haven't really been trying to do all i can, to continue this job?
The sucky part is, i see clearly what is going wrong and i see clearly why it go's wrong. Well there isn't really a wrong or right since i am the one who is making an expection level right? Anyway, I feel like i need a change and instead of climbing up the walls , why don't i just break the wall down, brick by brick. And maybe when i made a little hole, i can see through and then decide if i like that view.
So if i need a change, i.... Wait i "WANT" a change.
Big difference there
xoxo
Yes sick and tired of myself and the things i do and don't do and the things i should be doing. How can i explain it? I have always been a pretty spirtual aware being and i just basicly soak up anything that has to do with spirituality, cultures, believe systems, religions, mind state's etc etc. But in that whole journey to personal enlightment/ knowledge/whateveryouwanttocallit, It seems that i always find enlightment in my Lighter.
How two faced is it, that i don't practice what i preach to myself or maybe radiate to others? Who am i to complain about my everylasting weight battle, while besides me eating an drinking pretty healthy, i don't exercise on a daily basis? Who am i to zone out in a book about other way's of thinking, when i "reward" myself with a ciggie after i feel that i have focused enough on work. Why do i feed my insecurities, while i am the one that starts feeding them, without taking any action. Why do i complain about work, while i haven't really been trying to do all i can, to continue this job?
The sucky part is, i see clearly what is going wrong and i see clearly why it go's wrong. Well there isn't really a wrong or right since i am the one who is making an expection level right? Anyway, I feel like i need a change and instead of climbing up the walls , why don't i just break the wall down, brick by brick. And maybe when i made a little hole, i can see through and then decide if i like that view.
So if i need a change, i.... Wait i "WANT" a change.
Big difference there
xoxo
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Ik ben wel lang, 1,80 en opzicht niet dik, maar wel 4 kilo zwaarder (en 1 kledingmaat groter) dan 2 jaar geleden. Ik wil zo graag afvallen maar echt geregeld sporten lukt maar moeilijk. Meestal 2 keer per week, eigenlijk zou ik daar 4 keer van moeten maken. Tis nou eenmaal zo dan maar!
Vanavond werken, morgen...wee'k nog niet, beetje afhankelijk van het weer. Jij?
Ik heb een zeer luie zondag voor de buis, tennis kijken, lekker pasta gegeten net met verse spinazie. Soms is het leven best relaxed