mena

Augh....

Now to go somewhere I have yet to go in my SG journal, Cranky Pants NJ USA, your ghoul Mena needs to cry on your shoulder, throw her hands up and throw a fit, for a moment stop listening to common sense and just wail like a child orphaned as a newborn. So excuse yourself if you must, or stay tuned and listen up to the tall tale of the sad lil' SG who's world has ceased to make her smile.

Where do I begin, I was relatively in control around the time of my Member's only entry about my jail bound cousin who thought that a boys love could make her do crazy things (like point a gun in the face of her fellow employees at the coffee shop in which she worked, clean out the safe to clear her drug dealin' mans debt and get away with it) After her not-so-smart scheming ass got caught with a couple pounds of dope she landed her ass in a institution where you can't use Estee Lauder porducts. She has never been so mortified, could you imagine getting a zit in jail, like oh my god!

moving along,

I have twin kitties they are the loves of my life. Here they are with an ex. Ignore him and look at those rough and tumble little guys with there matching moustaches and extra toes. Handsome, and caring used to being mauled and loving attention. With more unique personality than most humans, Morgan even used to say 'Mom'...

unfortunately both left me within a months time. Cenobyte Ross (on the left) went on a journey into the wilderness of which he has yet to return. I fear that he is lost, or worse.
Morgan (R.I.P) passed the weekend before last when he went for a late night dip in the neighbours pool forgetting that he couldn't swim.
I have buried him in the backyard and constructed a garden which is enclosed and titled 'Kitty Heaven' as Morgan now rests there permanently and Lily Munster can run around and catch bugs all day safe and sound from the outdoors, crazy cat hating old ladies, and deep patches of water.

and the Death Toll keeps rising...
My cousin Steven (R.I.P) who spend his short life plauged by severe autisim also passed away recently after he threw himself from the 16th floor of an apartment building. He was 12.

and in the shallow end...
I have gained 5 lbs.
Work is so stressfull that I am hardly able to sleep, think & eat without smoking a cigarette or having a panic attack
with no time left in the day to practise or day dream my upcoming performances leave me wishing I had more time & more drive a better execution and a cure for my two left feet.
I feel down, I feel lonely eventhough I have plenty of people around.
I feel like I want to be as active of an SG as such greats as Amina, Twwly, Reagen & Quinne a spokes person, an active part of this machine, a face you think of when you think SG. they travel, they are featured in press material, are able to use there faces and bodies to promote this site as I would love to do. Art with a purpose, I'd call it career. For now in my defeated state I call it a pipe-dream.

I am not trying to make you guys feel sorry for me, fishing for compliments and well wishes, or trying to convince you to make me feel better that is for me to do. I am just tiered of waiting to feel better before I update.
Mena is a grumpy little ghoul these days and I can't count my blessings when I am blinded by the rain clouds in my mind. I know I am being bratty and spoiled I am lucky for all the wonderfull oppertunities that I have been offered and taken advantage of. But I can't help wanting to rush construction of Rome.

To all of you for listening Thank You,
for all of you that skipped this self absorbed spoiled 'lil priveleged girl on her period rant Thank You.

This is it my moody little heart on my sleeve please don't take a cheap shot I am sensitive.

I still love you all...i promise!
Mena
xxxo


PS Someone should pay for me to go to the SG Gala, while I am there I will try to convince ZOMBIEQUEEN to hire The Pink Velvet Burlesque for the Rue Morgue Halloween Party.