melvina

all right. so it's been a while.
mainly because. february has consisted of the following:

- johnna dying and the funeral being much much too much like jules'.

- surgery for cervical cancer for mel. yay, general anasthesia (and i don't care if it's spelled wrong.)

- being hurt at work and being off an ENTIRE month and more, without pay. hmm. wonder how those bills will turn out.

- another blackout episode in which i was found with an exacto knife blade in the hallway, in the corner, babbling and trying to kill my friends. also. i scared them. which i hate. i believe it was all the blood coming from my arms and chest. i managed to get a lot of them to the muscle and fat, BUT. sigh. they caught me. what can you do. lovely scars, though.

so. right now, i am sitting with the boys in my apartment, ripping music and. doing too much go, smoking too many cigarettes. i stay up much too long these days even though it's early now. i also tend to sleep equally. meh.

beck. weird dreams, as well. we should confer. please love on goat for me and tell rhys i say. HI. and that is all.

oh. and now. casey t. wants to make a movie. about Us and the Upstairs. isn't that funny. i frightened him into inspiration.

how sweet.

madlove. <3