Since it is the last day of pride, I wanted to share a little bit about myself. I always get asked what made me want to be a suicide girl and it ties in with how proud I am to be me now. Growing up, I was raised with the mentality that so many things were wrong to do. It was wrong to have sex before marriage, wrong to show too much skin, wrong to get tattooed or have piercings, wrong to like the same gender. I grew up ashamed of being myself because I liked all the above. I had no confidence because I was always hiding my true self. I was in high school when I first saw what a suicide girl was (that definitely didn’t help me not like girls, they were all so gorgeous!) I saw how beautiful they looked and they were different. I admired how brave they were to go against everything I was told I had to be. They looked so confident and happy to be different. I wished I could one day be that brave. Time passed and I got older. The older I got, the more i kept thinking it was too late to even try and be a suicide girl. I had gained so much weight and felt so unattractive, so uncomfortable in my own skin-still afraid to be me. Little by little, i dared to go out of my comfort zone and start taking pop up dance classes whenever my favorite SG choreographer with purple hair would have them here in Arizona. From there, I jumped on the opportunity to perform as a burlesque student for a local bendy SG show and the more i did it, the more confident I became. I started to feel empowered to be open about myself. I started loving myself and my body. I was able to be happy with being who I was and shared it with my family. I finally decided to take the plunge and shoot my first SG hopeful set and that was that. I’m a way, I feel like if it wasn’t for Suicide Girls, I would still be hiding my feelings, my sexuality, my body, ME. I am now so proud of how far I have come and how much further I will go. Thank you to all the suicide girls that paved the way and showed other girls that it’s ok to be different, that’s it’s ok to love yourself and others like you. Thank you for the support, and happy pride month to all my fellow lgbtq+ and allies. This community means so much to me.
