melody

i just found out this morning that my exboyfriend and good good friend of mine died yesterday... he hung himself but i knew he was going to do something like that anyways... he was going to be in jail for a long long long time and knowing him he would go crazy... i dont think what he did was selfish in this case because all i wanted was for him to be happy and he wouldnt of been happy for the rest of his life... 15-life is a long time... and im not going to go into detail of why and what he did... because thats nobodies busniess... but he was the love of my life... just a year ago we broke up and we became really close friends a lil later on afterwards... my boyfriend isnt taking it so well...they were really fuckin close... best friends almost..hes never lost anybody before so its gunna be hard for him... a year and a half ago is when i first lost someone...which was another exboyfriend/bestfriend that ive known since i was 18... i know how it is...but i dont think it has hit me just yet... yahi cried my eyes out but right now im numb...

i dont understand why this keeps happening to me... no more please