Saturday Apr 09, 2005

0
to answer your ?? xip :

"real"

but truth be told i could write a novel about you.
one word isnt fair

much love

things need to be done in threes. 2nd plea help me plz
xip:
There is a particular set that I think you will really like but it'll probably take a while for the set to go live, as SG initially rejected it because I started out topless and I needed to start out completely clothed for it to be acceptable... so I have to do a reshoot, possibly tomorrow, and resend it... I think you'll really love it... it's very gritty and more artistic I think than sexual, but beautiful.

As far as your "master"... like I said, I went thru something very, -very- similar to what you're going through now... I used to regard my master as god-like, I literally worshipped him, I did everything he asked, I never questioned him, my ONLY care was to make myself perfect for him... and as he became more and more obsessed with keeping me and forging me into his "perfect woman," he started really losing control, and finally things just spiraled so BADLY that I was forced to see him as what he was, a fucking human being, not a god, but just another man... people only have as much control as we give them and we CAN take it back...

My "master"? He fucked other women while I cried about it in front of his face, and did nothing but tell me that as long as I was going to let him do it (as long as I wouldn't leave him over it), he would do it... my "Master" described to me in genuine detail the ways in which he would kill me if I left him, including hurting my little sister and impregnating me and forcing me to self-abort by feeding me poison... my "Master" had a complete mental breakdown when I left him and started living my own life again, was told to get counseling by his advisor... told out-and-out lies about me to other people, like that I was violent and insane... oh yeah last but not least RAPED ME... which is something I have -only- ever mentioned on this site, no one, NO ONE in my real personal life knows... raped me anally, while I screamed no and he held me against him and I clawed the bedspread, then later told me he was sorry, it was MY fault because I -made- him so hedonistic...

DOMS AREN'T GODS
DOMS ARE JUST MEN THAT WE GIVE GOD-LIKE POWER

We give it and we can take it away, when they make it abundantly clear that they don't deserve it, they're not all-knowing, they're not all-powerful, they're just regular old DICKS who happened to trick GIRLS LIKE US into thinking they were something better, something so strong and important that they DESERVED the superior power and allegiance we gave them... but they DON'T.

It took me a long time to -start- walking away, and then it still took me a long time to walk away for GOOD, and never speak to him again... even after all he did to me.. because of all that prescribed power we give them..

but they are just men, not doms but fucking loserass ex-boyfriends, they're SELFISH, they USED us, and MANIPULATED us into thinking they were better than they were so we'd give them more than we should've... but it's not too late to take it back.

I hope this helped kiss

love you
xip
jordan:
hey hey whatcha doin wink thanx btw for letting me know there's another 'six feet under' season, maybe one day my broke ass will be able to afford HBO, or even a flippin' issue of Maxim which i only want cos its got britney murphy in there and she blows my mind! anyway talk to you later miao!!

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