i'm in a random mood...
i'm calling off work today because i don't wanna go and that's as good a reason as any...
my friend joe and i had the longest conversation about selling dead hooker meat today... the conversation is worth sharing...
joe: I was in the back of a cop car when I got pulled over in illinois and got searched
mel: for what?
mel: drugs?
mel: hookers?
joe: dead hookers
mel: damn dead hookers, i always get searched for them
joe: and dead hookers are almost useless
mel: i must have that "i have 24 dead hookers in my trunk" look
joe: you do
mel: i mean i only have two really, the rest is just random parts
mel: come on
joe: if you go by weight alone, I probably have 3 or 4
joe: but that's a lot of hands and feet.
mel: what the hell do you have hands and feet for? there's barely any meat on those... let alone all those ligaments
mel: you'd chew on them for days and not be anywhere near the bone
joe: why do you think I still have them.. duh
joe: trophies
mel: yeah well, i would assume you'd be more consious of what the consumer wants
mel: i make a huge profit on dead hooker calve meat
joe: it's a sellers market
mel: it's cooks up very tender and juicy from being marinated in crack and meth for all those years
mel: it's a distinctive blend
joe: don't forget semen and seminal fluid
mel: of course, that goes without saying
joe: right.
mel: mwah ha ha ha ha
joe: so you know what an "emeril" is, right?
mel: BAM
joe: yup.
joe: hookers love it
mel: oh i would think so
mel: i've only met dead hookers though, and they don't talk much
mel: in english at least
joe: right.
mel: usually dead people in general speak aramaic
mel: but dead hookers seem to stick to hebrew
mel: strange
joe: so that's what that is
mel: you didn't know that?
mel: it was on 21 jumpstreet
mel: so it MUST be true
joe: really?
mel: yeah johnny depp was undercover at this dead hooker sale
mel: and he called ziggy from quantum leap, and asked to translate
mel: and then scott bacula was there
mel: and scot baio
mel: and jesus
joe: nice
mel: and your mom...
mel: she is actually the one that confirmed that it was old hebrew
mel: it was quite impressive
joe: that's my mom...
mel: yeah, you should take her a couple of calve steaks
mel: maybe a ghetto rump-roast
mel: show her you love her
joe: right
mel: nothing says love like hooker meat
joe: who do you think taught me to procure and butcher a hooker
mel: she taught me as well
mel: my mom refuses... thinks there's something wrong with it
mel: i don't know where she gets that
mel: maybe because she is a hooker
mel: hm...
joe: that, could be it
mel: yeah i suppose
-------------------------------------------
you might think i'm crazy... but... i know the monkey eyes were on fire in the tar pits next to captain crunch and i love french toast!!!
i'm calling off work today because i don't wanna go and that's as good a reason as any...
my friend joe and i had the longest conversation about selling dead hooker meat today... the conversation is worth sharing...
joe: I was in the back of a cop car when I got pulled over in illinois and got searched
mel: for what?
mel: drugs?
mel: hookers?
joe: dead hookers
mel: damn dead hookers, i always get searched for them
joe: and dead hookers are almost useless
mel: i must have that "i have 24 dead hookers in my trunk" look
joe: you do
mel: i mean i only have two really, the rest is just random parts
mel: come on
joe: if you go by weight alone, I probably have 3 or 4
joe: but that's a lot of hands and feet.
mel: what the hell do you have hands and feet for? there's barely any meat on those... let alone all those ligaments
mel: you'd chew on them for days and not be anywhere near the bone
joe: why do you think I still have them.. duh
joe: trophies
mel: yeah well, i would assume you'd be more consious of what the consumer wants
mel: i make a huge profit on dead hooker calve meat
joe: it's a sellers market
mel: it's cooks up very tender and juicy from being marinated in crack and meth for all those years
mel: it's a distinctive blend
joe: don't forget semen and seminal fluid
mel: of course, that goes without saying
joe: right.
mel: mwah ha ha ha ha
joe: so you know what an "emeril" is, right?
mel: BAM
joe: yup.
joe: hookers love it
mel: oh i would think so
mel: i've only met dead hookers though, and they don't talk much
mel: in english at least
joe: right.
mel: usually dead people in general speak aramaic
mel: but dead hookers seem to stick to hebrew
mel: strange
joe: so that's what that is
mel: you didn't know that?
mel: it was on 21 jumpstreet
mel: so it MUST be true
joe: really?
mel: yeah johnny depp was undercover at this dead hooker sale
mel: and he called ziggy from quantum leap, and asked to translate
mel: and then scott bacula was there
mel: and scot baio
mel: and jesus
joe: nice
mel: and your mom...
mel: she is actually the one that confirmed that it was old hebrew
mel: it was quite impressive
joe: that's my mom...
mel: yeah, you should take her a couple of calve steaks
mel: maybe a ghetto rump-roast
mel: show her you love her
joe: right
mel: nothing says love like hooker meat
joe: who do you think taught me to procure and butcher a hooker
mel: she taught me as well
mel: my mom refuses... thinks there's something wrong with it
mel: i don't know where she gets that
mel: maybe because she is a hooker
mel: hm...
joe: that, could be it
mel: yeah i suppose
-------------------------------------------
you might think i'm crazy... but... i know the monkey eyes were on fire in the tar pits next to captain crunch and i love french toast!!!
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
XOXO
-BROKEN