melaniek

Why is it so hard to tell things that hurt you to someone that you care deeply for? I do not have much of an ego, but I am much more comfortable telling a friend all of my shortcomings. Even all of my relationship shortcomings! I guess that when you have been hurt by someone that you care for, you don't want to break down the barrier that you build around yourself and relive that hurt. I am glad that I did. I realized that we had much more in common than I had previously thought.
This year has been one of the worst ever and one of the best ever for different reasons. Worst for ending relationships and our wonderful economy. I can't believe how little I am making at my part time job. It beyond sucks. I know that I only work a few hours a week, but I used to make so much more. I look around and so many people are out of work, so many companies are going under, and our government bail outs are just a band-aid on a problem that is going to hurt much worse once the band-aid is ripped off. I never wanted to ever consider divorce. But the reality of the relationship is such that divorce was an inevitability. And that is very sad to me. I still feel like I am getting the short end of the stick. I have tried to hold everything together for so long, through good times, bad times and even worse times, that i can hardly take it anymore. My health has been partially diagnosed. I am sure that all of this stress is no good for me. I am no longer critically ill, but I seriously wonder how I survived during that time.
The best part is that I have realized who my true friends are and who truly cares about me. I am really glad for that. I do isolate myself when I am unhappy and I don't want to talk about it with anyone. I am slowly getting over that. I have had so many hurts that have been so embarrassing to my very being that I have had to much more open in order to deal with them. As much as that hurts, I think that it has made me much more empathetic and a much better person. I am extremely grateful for my friends. I am contemplating taking my vacation to pack up all of my stuff to get ready for my move to Lisa's. I am more than eager to move. As much as it would suck to separate our belongings, I am truly ready.

I have to put some lyrics in here. I love The Queers and I think that Joe King has SUCH a gift for simple, touching love songs.