melancholia

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise.

William Blake

i know, i know, no pressures. que sera, relax, whatever.

you've got to go and do your thing, and heaven knows i've got to do mine.

and there's no need to do all these grand gestures on public sites when it could so easily be whispered over a couple of cups of tea and a scone.

but.

for all my faults, and preoccupation with romanticism,...
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anyone else find that the busier you get the less you want to write blogs?
i hate only being creative when everything is mulling in the pooper- so i will force some writing now, when i am feeling ok.

i find that i rarely say i'm 'good' these days. never 'happy', rarely 'content' and only sometimes 'not bad'. most of the time i am ok...
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i can't sleep.

i would like a new job. i'm applying for one this week, it isn't much better but it's a new experience and a pay jump which is probably the most important part right now.

i need to get back down the gym and in a routine.this is happening as of tomorrow, it's just not acceptable.

i also need a lot of time...
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didn't update, whoops.

friday was cool. yesterday was productive. today i'm grouchy and rubbish.

very cool night in London.

shattered, got a bit of a cold, will update more tomorrow whilst watching some TV in my pajamas.

sleep well!

XX