melancholia

i can't sleep.

i would like a new job. i'm applying for one this week, it isn't much better but it's a new experience and a pay jump which is probably the most important part right now.

i need to get back down the gym and in a routine.this is happening as of tomorrow, it's just not acceptable.

i also need a lot of time to breathe. it seems i am still very deeply in love, and destiny is still not wanting to play ball. and i dont give a flying fuck if this is down to hormones, the fact i am even feeling this shit once a month is enough for me to reconsider my options.

maybe we live in a cruel world, and maybe this is just growing up. but i'm really struggling right now