Its the day after boxing day, not sure this has a festive name for the day but it should, 2 days of christmas and family time is never much.
i have woken up feeling totally crap, feels like im going to have a leaky eye day. my dreams last nigth didnt help i guess, 1stly i drempt i was pregnant, (SCARY!) and second i drempt my cat Munchkin died, he is very old and is probably going to go soon but i dont want to dream about it!!!!
im kind of mixed up with my feelings atm, dont really know whats coming or going. my uni work i hate, and i keep putting it off, i know i need to do it, but deep down i dont want to go back to uni. but by not going back i will be letting so many people down.
and now my relationship, my history with relationships is awful! i go for guys who use me cheat on me, never really wanted me then finish with me.....however this relationship with pete is going well i guess....just something is niggling. physically and sexually its great no problem there, but we find it hard to sit and chat for hours, like we did before we got together. he always sounds distant when he is talking to me. i have asked him and he says he is happy with us so maybe im just being paranoid.
he parties allll the time, which is good but when he lives so far from me and i know how flirty he is, im scared. doesnt help that when i was wasted i saw him kissing another girl, only problem i really dont know if it was him or not, i shouldnt drink that much!
i dont know maybe im just stupid and shouldnt be in relationships, maybe i should just be single and let guys get on with their lives.
im sorry if this makes no sence, my brain has switched off while im writing this, just thoughts on a page.
i hope everyone had a fab christmas and had a nice rest, bring on 2009 i say! xxx
i have woken up feeling totally crap, feels like im going to have a leaky eye day. my dreams last nigth didnt help i guess, 1stly i drempt i was pregnant, (SCARY!) and second i drempt my cat Munchkin died, he is very old and is probably going to go soon but i dont want to dream about it!!!!
im kind of mixed up with my feelings atm, dont really know whats coming or going. my uni work i hate, and i keep putting it off, i know i need to do it, but deep down i dont want to go back to uni. but by not going back i will be letting so many people down.
and now my relationship, my history with relationships is awful! i go for guys who use me cheat on me, never really wanted me then finish with me.....however this relationship with pete is going well i guess....just something is niggling. physically and sexually its great no problem there, but we find it hard to sit and chat for hours, like we did before we got together. he always sounds distant when he is talking to me. i have asked him and he says he is happy with us so maybe im just being paranoid.
he parties allll the time, which is good but when he lives so far from me and i know how flirty he is, im scared. doesnt help that when i was wasted i saw him kissing another girl, only problem i really dont know if it was him or not, i shouldnt drink that much!
i dont know maybe im just stupid and shouldnt be in relationships, maybe i should just be single and let guys get on with their lives.
im sorry if this makes no sence, my brain has switched off while im writing this, just thoughts on a page.
i hope everyone had a fab christmas and had a nice rest, bring on 2009 i say! xxx
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