mei

i have another interview.. and then another after that.. they sure do like to do lots of interviews! if i make it through all of them, though, i'll be super-excited. it's a retail clothing position, but the company treats its employees really well. hope hope hope!

haven't done thesis work yet today.. must get on it. was going to work all afternoon, but cleaned the kitchen instead. i needed my computer to do work and my housemate took the one power adapter that's still functional. damn apple power adapters! they suck! they fall apart!

handcolors: scars are shiny pink, faint white, or duly hyperpigmented. i have ten easily visible scars on my hands. whitegold peachfuzzy hairs reflect lamplight, making me seem more human. dry parts of my palms wrinkle like highly starched cloth pushed together. fingernails with little white calcium spots, pearl white at the top, and light pink at the bottom. how many things have i made with these hands? and how many more will i make? i'll pet my grandchildren's heads, and bake pies.. these hands.. but they'll look so different then.

my motion for magic, or disappearance is always to make the same motion that french chefs are supposed to make when they cook something wonderful. a loose fist, then all the fingers kind of explode outwards. like a little puff of smoke expanding. like you expect something to appear in your palm. i don't kiss my fingers, just hold my hand out, make the motion, and say *poofffffff* i can't write it because it's a whisper, the onomatapoetic sound of a tiny magic thing happening. i feel like doing that now. i feel like something tiny and magic might be happening somewhere.