going out tonight for a friends' 21st birthday. bar-hopping. my sweetie says he'll drive, so i'll definitely drink. hopefully i won't do anything dumb. just to make myself feel better, i'm going to wear a little bitty red dress. if you are a portlander, and you see a girl in black hair and a red dress, and she looks like me, come say hi. 'cause i certainly won't do it of my own volition, scaredy cat that i am.
it's hot. i was going to go outside and sit in the sun today, but i did that yesterday and i sweated so much that i got dizzy and sleepy for the whole afternoon. i read some of nightwood, which is awesome, and sweltered. after covering my eyes for awhile, looking at my skin in the sun is like looking at an overexposed photo.. i know that i'm not that pale, but i glisten wetly, pale sweaty skin suddenly dazzling. i like to sit on a sleeping bag when i'm in the yard, so the coarse weed stalks don't poke me. it's funny, sitting on a wintry plaid sleeping bag in 95 degree weather. and my hair absorbs heat, like a black cat sleeping on my head. it's fun to look at it in different lights. matte black in the dark, shiny black in the direct, bright sunlight, blue in medium light, bright purply blue looking through a few strands at a bright light. as the color washes out, if i look at the hair against a light it seems to be more faintly colored, like the night sky in a pane of stained glass. it looks like it was once transparent.
i got all hyper last night and became incredibly annoying. i had a little plastic lizard, and i was poking people in the ear with it. i'd sneak up on them, thrust the lizard in their ears, and say "HE'S EATING YOUR EARWAX!!!" and they'd bat at me and make me go away. i started saying random words, too, because they felt like they'd make sense until they came out of my mouth. purple conception. interminable duck. and i was totally sober, too. this is what my brain likes to do. that's what happens when i can let my brain go. it whirls away into some kind of blissful hurricane.
i bent to touch my toes today. i could only get my knuckles to touch. i used to be able to easily put my entire palm on the ground, and bend my elbows. i need to start doing yoga at home, even if i can't make it to the studio.
oh - i got the job in the call center. yay. i don't want to work in a call center. my sweetie got an interview, though, so if he gets a job maybe i can take longer to find my own job. gah. at this point, i just want to leave portland. the job market sucks so much here. maybe in new mexico or san francisco or somewhere on the east coast i'd be able to get a job.
i'm getting a passport, soon. most of the job postings for teaching english abroad require a photocopy of your passport. i don't know if that's legit or not, but i do want to teach abroad.
time to get ready to go..
it's hot. i was going to go outside and sit in the sun today, but i did that yesterday and i sweated so much that i got dizzy and sleepy for the whole afternoon. i read some of nightwood, which is awesome, and sweltered. after covering my eyes for awhile, looking at my skin in the sun is like looking at an overexposed photo.. i know that i'm not that pale, but i glisten wetly, pale sweaty skin suddenly dazzling. i like to sit on a sleeping bag when i'm in the yard, so the coarse weed stalks don't poke me. it's funny, sitting on a wintry plaid sleeping bag in 95 degree weather. and my hair absorbs heat, like a black cat sleeping on my head. it's fun to look at it in different lights. matte black in the dark, shiny black in the direct, bright sunlight, blue in medium light, bright purply blue looking through a few strands at a bright light. as the color washes out, if i look at the hair against a light it seems to be more faintly colored, like the night sky in a pane of stained glass. it looks like it was once transparent.
i got all hyper last night and became incredibly annoying. i had a little plastic lizard, and i was poking people in the ear with it. i'd sneak up on them, thrust the lizard in their ears, and say "HE'S EATING YOUR EARWAX!!!" and they'd bat at me and make me go away. i started saying random words, too, because they felt like they'd make sense until they came out of my mouth. purple conception. interminable duck. and i was totally sober, too. this is what my brain likes to do. that's what happens when i can let my brain go. it whirls away into some kind of blissful hurricane.
i bent to touch my toes today. i could only get my knuckles to touch. i used to be able to easily put my entire palm on the ground, and bend my elbows. i need to start doing yoga at home, even if i can't make it to the studio.
oh - i got the job in the call center. yay. i don't want to work in a call center. my sweetie got an interview, though, so if he gets a job maybe i can take longer to find my own job. gah. at this point, i just want to leave portland. the job market sucks so much here. maybe in new mexico or san francisco or somewhere on the east coast i'd be able to get a job.
i'm getting a passport, soon. most of the job postings for teaching english abroad require a photocopy of your passport. i don't know if that's legit or not, but i do want to teach abroad.
time to get ready to go..
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i never buy novels. i read them over coffee at bordersbooks and leave them coffestained and bent on the table.