megzilla

ok so i haven't blogged in a few days so i figured i just rant about random nonsense that's going on in my life...

as i mentioned 2 blogs ago i hate my boss...well today we were sent annonymous surveys asking how things have been within my department... one question being "How is your working relationship your supervisor?" it made me happy that I got to blast my boss (as well as everyone else in my department) anonymously...and it this survey goes straight to the C.O.O. of the company. my supervisor will be out of a job in no time teehee

going back to school...hopefully. right now it's a matter of getting my ducks in a row. these ducks being a) getting all of my dental work finished. b) getting a reliable vehicle and c) saving enough monies to move to orlando. the school i want to go to is the Orlando Culinary Academy (Le Cordon Bleu) it's something that would get me out of the place i'm at now and i would be happy doing. I'm supposed to be going to the open house on Saturday if all works out well. Just by going to the open house would help me on my way to getting to where i want to be. i really need to stay focused and get shit done. i'm trying tho.. i even put up pics of the le cordon bleu symbol in my office to remind me. i'm just afraid the exciment of it will die down and it will get lost especially since i'm not planning on going until the beginning of next year

i'm not happy with my weight...not many people are tho but still...i miss having a tiny body, i used to be all of 120lbs and i was happy but due to stress and work and stress from work i've gained weight, now i do have to mention that with the weight i have gained a set of awesome bewbs (hapiness) but i'm still not happy being 155 lbs (sadness) and i know people say "well start working out" but it's not so easy when you're working 50-55 hrs/week and the moment you get home all you want to do is veg out in front of the computer (which is what i do) and also the amount of take-out food we eat at work it's no wonder i don't weigh more. 3 days out of the week we order from pizza places and the other two are chinese places which definately isn't diet friendly. then sitting in front of a computer for 10-11hrs only getting up to walk to the printer or outside to smoke doesn't burn that many calories. people tell me that i look good but i'm not happy. i need to do something.

finally, luv sucks. this thought is brought about the impending holiday known as Valentine's Day to most but to me it's just another holiday that i sit thinking "i need a man" how come the older you get the harder dating does. middle and high school used to be so easy. you like someone, they like you, "will you be my bf/gf?" "yes" and there you have it... a relationship. now i don't mind being single, i'm having fun doing whatever the fuck i want, not having to let someone know what i'm doing, where i'm going etc. but there's always this nagging feeling, a yearn for companionship. waking up next to someone you care about. someone to pick on me but doing it because they love me. it sucks because i have so much to give . part of the problem is being too picky. i know what i want and one phrase i constantly repeat is "Never Settle" i don't want something just because it's there but rather because it's what i really want. my other problem is this town is full of douchebags, which i'm sure is the case with almost any place, it's just finding the the few who aren't that i would be attracted to (and i'll be the first to admit this, i'm as shallow as a kiddie pool, LOOKS MATTER! brains too but it's gotta be a 50/50 thing)

ok so i think i'm done. i need a beer now...

and now for something totally cute...