so today was a weird day . . . went to work - normal . . . day flew past. Get out of work - tons of traffic - suck ass. get home pretty late annoying - drive home I start crying, really letting it out, I haven't cried since I left him. 4/6 two months exactly. found out he got a job yesterday and it's when I really realized how much I actually miss him when I couldn't hug him and kiss him and congratulate him. but i don't want to miss him. I know I am better on my own but I really do miss all those special things having some one treats u too like the first person u tell any good news too.
it gets stranger . . . i had contacted my ex prior to this a few days ago. he has a girl - cool - not really looking for that. but we shared a few texts, tonite I go to his house . . . no scandal btw u may lose interest . . . just shared alot of old memories. it was really healing, it felt good. it lifted my spirits i think.
before i left to see my ex ex I wrote some thoughts down about current ex . . . it still hurts so much inside, i still love u more than i should, i wish i could turn my feelings off and be as cold as u, i did this to myself, y do i feel this way?
I know why - when ur with some one ur supposed to plan a future and u are secure in knowing whatever happens u do it together. only with him things happened and i was mostly on my own. he was always there but never the way it should have been. thats why it hurts - cause i gave so much and now I am posting a blog alone in my room thats not even mine
whats even more scary is that now there is no plan . . . I have to make a new one
sigh
it gets stranger . . . i had contacted my ex prior to this a few days ago. he has a girl - cool - not really looking for that. but we shared a few texts, tonite I go to his house . . . no scandal btw u may lose interest . . . just shared alot of old memories. it was really healing, it felt good. it lifted my spirits i think.
before i left to see my ex ex I wrote some thoughts down about current ex . . . it still hurts so much inside, i still love u more than i should, i wish i could turn my feelings off and be as cold as u, i did this to myself, y do i feel this way?
I know why - when ur with some one ur supposed to plan a future and u are secure in knowing whatever happens u do it together. only with him things happened and i was mostly on my own. he was always there but never the way it should have been. thats why it hurts - cause i gave so much and now I am posting a blog alone in my room thats not even mine
whats even more scary is that now there is no plan . . . I have to make a new one
sigh
That way if there's anything else that comes along that you'd prefer to experience, then you don't have to fret about straying from the path.
Besides, life should only have an OUTLINE. You can still strive for whatever you desire, but it's not worth being wound up about if something doesn't work out as planned.
But what do I know?