so i do belive that dale finally realizes what he lost when he left me....its hard to see someones heart break...and this would be the second heart ive seen break. even though this one was unintentional, because he broke up with me. im sorry that since you made it clear to me that i was single, and you showed me a side of you i didnt know could exist towards me so i moved on. not with anyone else...but in life in general. and i feel damn good about most everything going on in my life. my social life is existant again...maby a little too much, but oh well...im going to continue to do what makes me happy in a world that keeps trying to bring me down. but yeah...so it hurts me to see him upset....because i'll always love him...if we couldve gotten past the differances we had...then we wouldve had THE perfect relationship....but he didnt seem to accept certain parts of my life...like wanting to go out and actually do things---with my friends---not always his. and i know that i killed wayne when i left him......he too was a perfect boyfriend....it was just that i fell in love with dale while wayne was away for months. both boys i couldve spent eternity with. thats the scorpio in me....if you treat us well....we mate for life. if not...you'll feel our sting.
other than that....okay...so my home life sucks. BIGTIME.
when i moved back to my moms house, it was because she lost her job, had been unemployed for a couple of months, got behind in her morgage...and they were about to forclose on her house. and my brother who lives here as well was still in highschool and working, so i couldnt let my mom and my brother become homeless. so dale and i moved in and took over all of the bills....this was supposed to last only until summer (last summer, we moved in at the end or middle of december) im still here mind you. and at the moment, with all the bills and stuff that i have going on...i cannot afford to give her money. ive paid her around 500 or more a month for a year and a half now...
for the first 8 months we lived here...she still hadnt found a job, nor was she really looking....she tried to say that she was applying online (shes an internet junkie...so she was justifying sitting on the computer all day) but she still didnt clean the house either....and this house was FUCKING FILTHY!!!! i was SO embarassed for someone to even set foot in the living room....and i had NO time to clean it.
so now, im working 7 days a week....mostly all day as well...and i have been for well its going on my 3rd week.....i think i have one day off and thats tomarrow....for my friends opera recital. anyways.....so theyve been hounding me to clean shit....i have NO time...when i get home at 11 at night i dont want to clean anything, and i wont even if i dont go out. i need to relax too dammit ya know!!!!!!!
so i wake up the other morning...and all my clothes that i had on the stairs are gone....FUCKING GONE...so im walking around looking for them...i cant find them. i go in the bathroom...all my stuff that was on the sink....has been straight up pushed off...my candle holder was shattered all over the floor. so i ask my mom where my clothes are, and she says look around....i find written on the wall in red sharpie marker a note that says "MEREDITH, WHEN YOU STOP BEING SO ASSINE THEN I WILL STOP BEING SO REACTIONARY! LOVE GREG" (my moms boyfriend) my clothes are outside on the back porch...all over the place.
yeah fuck that shit....so now i have 2 months to get outta my house...yes im being kicked out...for no reason...and not to mention my mom added "dont bother asking me for a ride anymore...my time is very valuable to me" what the fuck ever.
all i can say is thank you to kenny, alton, tyler, megan, rino, phoebe, kev, christina, rita, matty....and the other people who've sat there and listend to me bitch and cry and comfort me. thanks guys, you are the best.
other than that....okay...so my home life sucks. BIGTIME.
when i moved back to my moms house, it was because she lost her job, had been unemployed for a couple of months, got behind in her morgage...and they were about to forclose on her house. and my brother who lives here as well was still in highschool and working, so i couldnt let my mom and my brother become homeless. so dale and i moved in and took over all of the bills....this was supposed to last only until summer (last summer, we moved in at the end or middle of december) im still here mind you. and at the moment, with all the bills and stuff that i have going on...i cannot afford to give her money. ive paid her around 500 or more a month for a year and a half now...
for the first 8 months we lived here...she still hadnt found a job, nor was she really looking....she tried to say that she was applying online (shes an internet junkie...so she was justifying sitting on the computer all day) but she still didnt clean the house either....and this house was FUCKING FILTHY!!!! i was SO embarassed for someone to even set foot in the living room....and i had NO time to clean it.
so now, im working 7 days a week....mostly all day as well...and i have been for well its going on my 3rd week.....i think i have one day off and thats tomarrow....for my friends opera recital. anyways.....so theyve been hounding me to clean shit....i have NO time...when i get home at 11 at night i dont want to clean anything, and i wont even if i dont go out. i need to relax too dammit ya know!!!!!!!
so i wake up the other morning...and all my clothes that i had on the stairs are gone....FUCKING GONE...so im walking around looking for them...i cant find them. i go in the bathroom...all my stuff that was on the sink....has been straight up pushed off...my candle holder was shattered all over the floor. so i ask my mom where my clothes are, and she says look around....i find written on the wall in red sharpie marker a note that says "MEREDITH, WHEN YOU STOP BEING SO ASSINE THEN I WILL STOP BEING SO REACTIONARY! LOVE GREG" (my moms boyfriend) my clothes are outside on the back porch...all over the place.
yeah fuck that shit....so now i have 2 months to get outta my house...yes im being kicked out...for no reason...and not to mention my mom added "dont bother asking me for a ride anymore...my time is very valuable to me" what the fuck ever.
all i can say is thank you to kenny, alton, tyler, megan, rino, phoebe, kev, christina, rita, matty....and the other people who've sat there and listend to me bitch and cry and comfort me. thanks guys, you are the best.