k this is crazy.....
i spoke with the ex this weekend...it was weird cause she called me to tell me that she wasnt happy...that she is goin through the same bullshit that im goin through....here we both are tryin to forget bout one another and look at us speakin to each other on the phone....she was tellin me that she is datin but cant seem to "let go" she wont open up to another chick.....she is afraid of gettin hurt....she told me that she saw this girl that works in a shop in her neighborhood that looks just like me....sounds like me has the same manerizms like me.....the girl even kinda flirts with her....she told me that she cant STAND her...that she makes her sick.....cause she thinks of me.....
she was tellin me that she didnt get to fully mourn our break up....she shut down in order to carry on with her everyday rituals like goin to work and finishin school....that was her way of copin...
she told me that for some reason this week she was hit hard with the realization that it was really over between us....and then i get the phone call....i have been gettin the cold shoulder from her for about a month now.... i would see her at work briefly she would throw shade.....when before she would ask me to stay a while and talk.....
so seein how i couldnt take it anymore i finally said fuk it michele....do what u gotta do to make urself forget like she has forgotten....so i started hangin out more dating.... chillin essentially....givin her what she was given me.....NUTHIN!!!
but she starts talkin to me again and her words are meltin my heart....i turn into mush....and im back to square one....missin her wantin to touch her wantin to smell her wantin to taste her.....
in our conversation she menitoned something like "what if we got back together" im not sayn tomorrow....next week...in a yr....just what if....
that sentence alone did it for me....she started out with it and i could hear it in her voice that she misses me....but what do i do? do i put all my eggs in one basket and allow her to fuk with my head....until she comes around....i love this woman more than anything else in this world....but at the same time i dont want to get my feelings hurt....i can hear the rationalization for her thoughts on us gettin back together and her fightin at he same time.....she came over the house last night before goin to work we were supposed to have dinner together but didnt work out....for irrelevant reasons...but there we were in the same room on the bed watchin tv but not really watchin.....and i could feel the tension in the room....i could see her from the corner of my eye watchin me.....she would walk around the apt (used to be OURS) lookin at everything..inspecting.....it was weird uncomfortable awkward....she stayed for about an hour and then she had to go to work...but before she walked out the door....she stood in front of me (now she is shorter than me) close....too close and said give me a hug...which i did and was more than happy to do...it was a full body embrace....i think i put all of me in that one touch...then she looked into my eyes and came closer and kissed me...i wanted to die!!!! WHAT THE FUK IS GOIN ON??? what am i supposed to do now...she is killn me!!! how could i let this happen to myself.....
i spoke with the ex this weekend...it was weird cause she called me to tell me that she wasnt happy...that she is goin through the same bullshit that im goin through....here we both are tryin to forget bout one another and look at us speakin to each other on the phone....she was tellin me that she is datin but cant seem to "let go" she wont open up to another chick.....she is afraid of gettin hurt....she told me that she saw this girl that works in a shop in her neighborhood that looks just like me....sounds like me has the same manerizms like me.....the girl even kinda flirts with her....she told me that she cant STAND her...that she makes her sick.....cause she thinks of me.....
she was tellin me that she didnt get to fully mourn our break up....she shut down in order to carry on with her everyday rituals like goin to work and finishin school....that was her way of copin...
she told me that for some reason this week she was hit hard with the realization that it was really over between us....and then i get the phone call....i have been gettin the cold shoulder from her for about a month now.... i would see her at work briefly she would throw shade.....when before she would ask me to stay a while and talk.....
so seein how i couldnt take it anymore i finally said fuk it michele....do what u gotta do to make urself forget like she has forgotten....so i started hangin out more dating.... chillin essentially....givin her what she was given me.....NUTHIN!!!
but she starts talkin to me again and her words are meltin my heart....i turn into mush....and im back to square one....missin her wantin to touch her wantin to smell her wantin to taste her.....
in our conversation she menitoned something like "what if we got back together" im not sayn tomorrow....next week...in a yr....just what if....
that sentence alone did it for me....she started out with it and i could hear it in her voice that she misses me....but what do i do? do i put all my eggs in one basket and allow her to fuk with my head....until she comes around....i love this woman more than anything else in this world....but at the same time i dont want to get my feelings hurt....i can hear the rationalization for her thoughts on us gettin back together and her fightin at he same time.....she came over the house last night before goin to work we were supposed to have dinner together but didnt work out....for irrelevant reasons...but there we were in the same room on the bed watchin tv but not really watchin.....and i could feel the tension in the room....i could see her from the corner of my eye watchin me.....she would walk around the apt (used to be OURS) lookin at everything..inspecting.....it was weird uncomfortable awkward....she stayed for about an hour and then she had to go to work...but before she walked out the door....she stood in front of me (now she is shorter than me) close....too close and said give me a hug...which i did and was more than happy to do...it was a full body embrace....i think i put all of me in that one touch...then she looked into my eyes and came closer and kissed me...i wanted to die!!!! WHAT THE FUK IS GOIN ON??? what am i supposed to do now...she is killn me!!! how could i let this happen to myself.....