wow.
i must be the most amazing, talented, bizarre girl ever.
i had the most amazing time while con was here. the best! we hung out, we ate food, saw family and friends. everything went awesome.
until he left.
because at this point things that were said prior to him even getting to spokane were obviously not going to happen as they were anticipated to. which would have been fine if he would have said something. just mentioned it and explained a little as to why and dealt with the slightly hurt, semi argument he got from me in response. but no, that wasn't going to happen. and i didn't know how i'd feel not having anything be said at all.
me: "you know you've got a girlfriend if you want when i move to portland."
con: "i know."
me: "since i know you don't like to do the long distance thing."
con: "yeah, i think it has something to do with the physical part."
me: "or the lack thereof? well just so you know i won't be looking for anything !physical with anyone else."
con: "neither will i."
i was so stunned that he had used that as an excuse. especially since we know almost exactly when i'll be down there and it's less than two months away. and he'll be back in three weeks and again in four weeks. it's not like we won't see each other in the two remaining months.
the next time i talked to him after he got back to portland he got frustrated and told me we'd figure it out when i got down there and to stop worrying. well then, since he decided to change his plans on me...i've decided that i'll just find another place to stay when i get to portland. i can handle money problems. i can take care of business. but when i'm trying to deal with a personal relationship on top of that it defintiely makes things rougher. so i'm going to call my boys up today and see if that will all work since it's been an offer on the table since they got to portland. all my choices regarding portland from here on out have to be for me. forget conor for the moment. if when i get down there and things possibly work out (because obviously i didn't go into too much detail, anybody reading this is probably getting confused as to why he gets this reaction. there's more to this than i'm willing to delve into) then i'll give it a chance. i mean...it is conor. but he just lost his footing with my trust issues...again.
well my friend just called up for a lunch date.
i have to go make myself look presentable and unlike the lush i've been for the past three days.
with love,
jessica
i must be the most amazing, talented, bizarre girl ever.
i had the most amazing time while con was here. the best! we hung out, we ate food, saw family and friends. everything went awesome.
until he left.
because at this point things that were said prior to him even getting to spokane were obviously not going to happen as they were anticipated to. which would have been fine if he would have said something. just mentioned it and explained a little as to why and dealt with the slightly hurt, semi argument he got from me in response. but no, that wasn't going to happen. and i didn't know how i'd feel not having anything be said at all.
me: "you know you've got a girlfriend if you want when i move to portland."
con: "i know."
me: "since i know you don't like to do the long distance thing."
con: "yeah, i think it has something to do with the physical part."
me: "or the lack thereof? well just so you know i won't be looking for anything !physical with anyone else."
con: "neither will i."
i was so stunned that he had used that as an excuse. especially since we know almost exactly when i'll be down there and it's less than two months away. and he'll be back in three weeks and again in four weeks. it's not like we won't see each other in the two remaining months.
the next time i talked to him after he got back to portland he got frustrated and told me we'd figure it out when i got down there and to stop worrying. well then, since he decided to change his plans on me...i've decided that i'll just find another place to stay when i get to portland. i can handle money problems. i can take care of business. but when i'm trying to deal with a personal relationship on top of that it defintiely makes things rougher. so i'm going to call my boys up today and see if that will all work since it's been an offer on the table since they got to portland. all my choices regarding portland from here on out have to be for me. forget conor for the moment. if when i get down there and things possibly work out (because obviously i didn't go into too much detail, anybody reading this is probably getting confused as to why he gets this reaction. there's more to this than i'm willing to delve into) then i'll give it a chance. i mean...it is conor. but he just lost his footing with my trust issues...again.
well my friend just called up for a lunch date.
i have to go make myself look presentable and unlike the lush i've been for the past three days.
with love,
jessica
padre:
that was an interesting entry... im glad it seems you put your priorties into perspective yes that would be great for you and the guy to get together but definently figure out where you will be living. at least thats what i got out of it. if im wrong im sorry.
havok:
sending you some Havok love 