What it iiiiiiiiiiiis Motherfuckers!!!
So, I am mucho excited about my birthday in almost seven whole days. But it never turns out to be a nice day really. I am always disappointed by my parents because even though I am fully aware of all the times they have let me down and I am confident they will continue to do so til I am not alive anymore (I have said it before but those fuckers WILL out live me) I still expect them to give me the world. It is them after all who made the mistake of fucking that day in December and getting pregnant, not me... but Aw well...
My mother did tell me today I have lovely eyebrows, which I have been told before and I know to be true without any kind of varification from others (but thank you nonetheless) but at least she was looking at me, right... RIGHT??
Kieran is writing my speech for my birthday so I have to give him background on all my friends, who I like and who I don't. Which ones I have slept with, who I've just scored, who I want to sleep with and who makes me gag every time I see them, that kind of thing...
As though I'll just say it to them all but I'll be drunk enough and have only a week left in Dublin so I may aswell filter out the real life friends list... HUZZAH BITCHES... not any of you, the real life friends.
I love the Readers Digest, I really do. In the U.K, do you have to subscribe to it or is...
(My mother just bought me a toothbrush. I am moist just holding it in my hot little hand...)
just delivered? because I'll need to know, I don't know why we get it here. My dad kicked up a bit of a fuss about some competition and how it led him to believe he had won when infact he hadn't but he called up alot and such, you know the British yourself, they're abit moany but he got a free subscription out of it.
Anyway, I was reading this story about this woman who's husband died on United flight 93 and he called her from the plane and told her he and three other guys were going to take down the hijackers and she told him to do it, that he was brave and strong and gave the phone to her dad who could hear the whole thing go down but then the FBI took over and he stayed on the line for two hours and then brought the phone back into the house and hung up...
And I am so terrified of ending up without who ever I marry because I won't marry out of convenience, obviously or because I will be kept or just for the sake of it or because I am scared or some stupid reason but because it's totally wrong of me to not spend the rest of my life with that person, like I just cannot physically or mentally BE without him. Just after so long I couldn't imagine it or cope if he was just gone one day. I mean, if I was left for someone else, at least I could feel hatred or something but just emptiness and numbness after the event of him being unwillingly taken, well there is nothing worse for me then that.
I sound really needy, no I'm actually not I just want to end up with someone I would die without just because it HAS to mean that much to me.
I really miss doing sketch books. I used to do them all the time but now, I'm just not bothered. I keep starting and starting them over and over and never getting beyond any kind of crap, half-hearted-half-assed-half-finished-uncoloured silly drawing of a horrible outfit noone would wear...
Soon, however, soon...
I'm excited about using my new toothbrush. Its a green oral-B PULSAR toothbrush. Jealous? I know you are, I can see it in your eyes...
Oh, I just got a text. I wonder who it could be from...
"thats a good one Bob, no dutch..."
I think I might defect from SG Ireland to somewhere more condusive and exciting (I'm sorry SG Ireland, you're just not enough) to my brand spanking new living arrangements...
Look it what
rosscaughers gave me for my birthday...
WINNERWINNERWINNER...
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1. Initials:
S.M.J.B.S
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
My cousin Elaine.
3. Favorite fruit(s)?
BANANAS!!!!
4. For or against same sex marriage?
For, of course.
5. Are you allergic to anything?
I have no idea. I really don't. I can't stand people who are allergic to things, they are so pathetic and simpering but I am invincible so NOTHING!!!
6. Are you bisexual?
You'll never guess what?? but I used to be... No, I was just greedy and I do like girls but I'm much more into guys now. Its the whole being protective thing I like. While I like to be a hard ass and fight my own battles, I do like a guy to do it for me once in a while and I just believe in guys doing it more then girls... so NO!!... but I will still sleep with a girl and have a threesomes and schtuff...
7. Have you ever slept in someone elses clothes?
Yes I have and it was just machine fresh everytime... especially the last time actually.
8. Are you comfortable with your height?
I am. I love being small. Guys always asking me what is it like to be so low down
which I think might just be a way of getting me to give them head because I am so close anyway. Well not in the middle of the street bucko...
But I wouldn't have it any other way.
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
None.
10. Have you ever lived outside the US?
I do live outside the U.S. This really doesn't count for me.
11. Name something physical you like about yourself?
I... love... my... mucus green eyes... and... my... hands... and... of... course I just can't get enough of my... RACK... ... but mostly I... like... my... neck and shoulders...
12. Something nonphysical you like about yourself?
Oh jesus. I don't take no shit from noone and I like that I am comfortable not having to like everyone I meet and not caring if they like me or if they know I dislike them. I also like how I intimidate people, not everyone but I find it easy to do it to those who don't know how to deal with me and I know I am funny...
13. Do you have any pets?
Yes, I have Roger...
14. What is your dream car?
A hot pick cadillac.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
WISSCOOOOONSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!! Wisconsin.
16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex sleep over?
Erm, yes...
18. What dream car do you want your husband/wife to drive?
Whatever he wants really. It'll be his car so...
19. What song did you listen to last?
I listened to The Academy is and the song is called... now let me think... oh its on my MP3 player right before the Cure and after Taking Back Sunday... I forget... sorry...
20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
I dunno, somewhere... ya know... I don't know. I hate dinners and stuff like that and deffo not the fucking cinema. Thats just stupid, NINE WHOLE EURO JUST TO MAKE OUT!!!! I don't think so... a pub, my favourite pub in Dublin I suppose... which is maybe the Duke or I also like the Porterhouse... HA!!!!
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?
...
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
No, not that I am supposed to be aware of anyway... how lame is this, I went out with this absolute cunt in school right and I went to see him play a few months after he had broken up with me on the day of my french oral (oh!) exam for my leaving cert and he played this terrible song about not being able to go out with anyone because he was 'damaged' and 'bruised'... I needed to make a scene but not give him the satisfaction so I just left. I don't know if that was about me probably and the twenty other girls he was with at the time... I wish it didn't feel like it counted... God he was a douche... a GIANT DOUCHE, if you will.
23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Never.
24. Do you like president Bush?
I don't think anyone except Tony Blair likes George Bush.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Not on your life...
26. Have you ever white water rafted?
I said to Kenneth we should do that and then we collapsed so I don't think I'll ever say yes to that question.
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Oh God yes... Does Des Barnes from Cornation Street ring a bell?? I fucking swear!! if I had been ten years older... oh!
28. Favorite Day Time Television Program?
I think we all know that is Trisha... or LOOSE WOMEN. Is that still on? but really its Countdown and the Golden Girls.
29. Ever been in the slammer?
What is a slammer? OH PRISON!! Oh god no... for what?? I might get myself arrested on my birthday though... so fingers crossed..
31. What song are you listening to right now?
Nothing. Its too late for listening to music. It is 2:18 in the morning...
32. What's your favorite song at the moment?
PINK... U and UR hand... but really it is Makedamsure by Taking Back Sunday... Its fairly romantic. and Monster Hospital by Metric.
33. What was the last movie you watched?
Hudson fucking Hawk... fucking IDIOT BRUCE WILLIS...
34. Whats the Worst Film you've ever seen?
Hudson Fucking Hawk and the last two Jaws films... no fucking doubt and this french film about this woman and her husband getting a divorce. God it was just stupid...
FUCKING HOSTEL!!!!!!!!!
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
TNS... no the dart station in blackrock.
36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property?
I have vandalized someONE else...
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes. I'm small, I can get away with it although, its not nice to or much fun either.
38. Died at the age of 38. of what?
Erm, Marilyn Monroe I believe died at 38 but what of is a mystery and it might have been 37. But I hope to die at that age. I worry I haven't inherited my mothers staying young genes and will look 80 by the time I am 38 even though, pushing 25 as I am I could pass for a 20 year old.
39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
See, I don't trust anyone who doesn't have a chin so that and then eyes, smile and hands... and then their laugh. I love guys with really loud bellowing laughs, like they really, REALLY mean it.
I love it when boys mean it...
40. What's your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
I like arms and shoulders.
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
You must be joking...
42. Who would you want to see right now?
YOU!!!
43. Last Album you Bought?
NOFX. last week, I forget which one though, the one with Franco Unamerican on it...
44. Say something totally random about yourself:
Aww, I am so wet right now... I like to say that when I have a successful survey...
45. Do you have an iPod?
No, I have an MP3 player.
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Okay, when I was about 12 my aunt said I look like Danii Minogue which is bullshit and this girl said I look like... I will never tell anyone... not a chance, I was so insulted when she said it. I fucking HATE THIS PERSON. I was told recently if she was a real life person... no way. I'm not saying anymore, it'll be too easy then...
47. Favorite Old Song?
Whitcha lineman by Glen Campbell and anything by Spandau Ballet. Except Through the barricades. I really don't like that song. My dad loves it but thats because it talks about doing it outside and is romanitc and you can get any girl into bed by singing it to them... Not me though, not a chance.
48. What Languages can you speak?
The queens english. some french and Irish.
49. Do you have freckles?
No, I have the hottest beauty spots ever though...
50. Favorite movie quote?
Don't make me laugh, huh, huh, huh!!
51. How are you feeling?
Hmmm... I don't feel anything really at the moment. I don't feel bad or good. Nothing awful has happened but I still feel like its not enough. I feel kind of irrelevant...
52. Ever Gotten on Stage and Sang/Played for a Crowd?
Yes, I have. I am an amazing singer... I fucking am... huh. huh. huh.
53. Ever Deliberately Slaughtered Your Family in 'The Sims'?
No, it never feels quite the same as in real life.
54. Whats the most you've spent in one day?
Dunno, about 500 maybe.
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
No.
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
No.
57. Do you watch MTV?
Yes, I watch Hogan knows best and PIMP MY RIDE UK...
Whats something that really annoys you?
People who think they are really deadly but are not and just keep talking to you even though you have told them to fuck off and called the police and shot them... fucking relentless people who have no personality...
59. What are some things you really like?
I like holding hands and boys who are smart and funny and will steal kinder eggs for me. I like my sparkly new sweater from H&M... and all the songs on my MP3 player and Roger and being on the dart. Its the little things that count and Liam...
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
I like Mr. Jefferson...
62. Have you ever surfed?
I have and I really liked it.
63. Do you know how to pump gas?
I do.
64. Have you ever made fun of people who live in trailer parks?
Just today infact. Did you know John Joe Ward is the most popular name for a traveller and they like to be know as "members of the Travelling community" with a capital T...
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
Fuck off...
66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
When I was in college, I'd be so bored I would think myself into trying to die to see what might happen if I just dropped dead there and then and everytime I have a panic attack. but yes when I do die, I'd rather be murdered then just die or have a diease.
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Yes, when I was four I used to have lots of convulsions and everyone was very worried til Richard got ill and then I had to be fine but I had a really serious one one night and I remember the very beginning of it and I can't remember anything else about it.
68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
Yes, haven't we all?
69. How many songs are in your music folder?
I don't know, a few hundred I would imagine.
Later Crew...
Love...
ZSuzannah... 
Here is the beginning of my speech for my birthday. I fucking KNEW Kieran could do the job...
"Hows about this for the introduction to your speech.
First picture this lousie standing in the back ground speaking (singing) a beautiful poem then suddenly you start to speak
"as the final curtain on my time here draws to an end, i know there wont be a dry eye in the house"
(suddenly five large men wearing gas marks seal off both the exits and a noxious gas begins to fill the room)
"but i love you all to much to let you suffer a painfull period of mourning, it is better that you all burnout like moth in flame than fade into obscurity"
(slowly they fall to their knees as the gas fills their lungs, tears run down thier hardened cheeks for they know they have been betrayed, louise stops singing and clutches her throat)
her final words"i have been betrayed, Gods of song avenge me, avenge my death"
(slowly you turn to leave the room, with a fleeting glance you smile, knowing you have achieved your goal. TNS is no more!!!!!!!!!!!"
... FUCKING WINNER ...
I definitely say go for it.