I had a dream about my ex and now I can't stop thinking about him... lamelamelame... fucking LAAAAAAAME... it might make him happy to know this though... so I do hope he is reading
... always a winner...And other WORK related things happened this week, I think. I'm confused about it all now though after my chat with Rob (who I am seeing tomorrow... I really can't wait for that...) which will move my moving plan along a bit quicker. But then maybe not, we will all just have to wait and see...
I have a new favourite band and t.v show, all german... all IN german. I don't speak german... HA!! anyway, I was watching my new favourite t.v show-Kuttner and it was only my second time seeing it and I thought something funny is going on when the presenter Sarah (who is so hot to trot...) came out and was crying... and then she kept calling Mtv "fucking areshole cunts" and almost crying and then it hit me... like a seat belt... to the face...aaaaahhhh... KUTTNER, my new favourite t.v programme is being CANCELLED!!!! and sure enough, it was...
And because I have started saying yes to things that are only within reason I have agreed to meet this girl who I know from 43things.com and help her get aquainted with Dublin. I don't know why she picked me for this task when I really can't stand Dublin and will just bitch about how shit it is... and also to this person (who I assume is a girl because she want's a dress) on SG who asked me to make her a dress... I am deffo doing that... now that I may or may not have been
...
Okay, I didn't get raped like I had hoped and I really need a shower and did you know that while I don't know for sure if I am still employed I am neither stressed nor panicked when I really should be and last summer was much more trying for me even though my main concern was my platinum rampant rabbit vibrator that cost me EIGHTY WHOLE EURO wouldn't FIT into my vagina... but I think its because I have to believe I will be okay... like I don't have a choice, if not... well who can tell how I will end up... but I just know it will be fine because why shouldn't it...
Now, I know I sound like I am just reassuring myself and I am probably hyperventilating and having some kind of panic attack as I type but I am not, I'm really not but I keep getting this horrible, helpless feeling that I can't describe which is funny because I've felt it before, its just helplessness. It really is awful but I think I'm just terrified about moving away and I was talking to Tara and Ciara today and its so awful that the death of Tara's mother brought us together and we are now making an effort when it shouldn't involve any effort at all, it should just be natural.
Anyway, my point is I have lost sight of things, of everything and I should just do things that make me happy because I am not now and thats stupid because I was a year ago and I don't know what could have gone wrong really. So I do know this firing business is a good thing even though I haven't actually been fired, they haven't said "You're fired Suzanne", all they said was I could email my letter of resignation if I wanted too, thats not being fired but fuck it it is for the best... no longer being trapped and stuff, I guess. I'll just miss Allan and Liam and the like and Irene and her bad fashions and dodgy make-up...
I'm getting a new tattoo and maybe a piercing... that will all make me happy I have no doubt. I shall make my appointment for my brand spanking new tattoo which will be dice tomorrow... I can't wait...
Anyway, I am going now...
I ermm, yea thats it...
Later...
Love...
Suzanne...
You'll never guess what I just did!!! I applied for a job to become an EMBALMER!!!! I have always wanted to do that. I don't know why, I don't even really know all that much about doing it. It just sounds deadly... God I hope I get it. That would be so fucking fantastic!!!!
shopping how about the 26th of this month?
its a sat and it gives me time to save up a bit
The rest of Ireland was quite fantastic. I wouldn't mind going through the Ring of Kerry again.
It's both good and bad to be back home..Good to sleep in my own bed again, good that I missed the 117F (47C) weekend, but bad to be back where it won't rain for months to come.
Just dropped off my film for processing..going to shell out like $300 for printing 30+ rolls plus Photo CDs...but, if they turn out the way I hope, it'll definitely be worth it..plus, if I can win the photo contest for the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, the top prize is 500 pounds sterling (heh, old keyboard, no GBP or Euro key, plus too lazy to look up the ALT+#### short cut).