mcroger

Theres something about being in Italy that makes me really fucking randy...
humping all kinds...
Maybe I'll get married here and honeymoon here...
maybe...

Later...
Love...
Suzanne...
who is the best...
you all know it...
I know you do...


Dear God,
strike me down... if you love me you will do it... it you EXIST you WILL do it...
Last night this man fell/jumped into the pool (on purpose as a hilarious joke you understand) and soaked my mother... my how I did laugh til I dropped...
FUCKING BITCH...
Today, she bought me a mans wallet. It has 19 pockets... NINETEEN!!!! I don't even own 19 wallet related items... it is fancy real leather though, fancy MANS leather...

I also told me parents I was moving away from them, forever I said... I said London but maybe not, they kept saying "but London is so big and you are so small (i.e stupid)" and I said well maybe somewhere smaller then and my dad sighed like he was losing control and my mum told me to "go girl, get it out of your system"... its not reality T.V Mother... yet again... FUCKING BITCH...

I have no tan, I am not tan!!!
What date is it today? I don't know the date, I haven't known for awhile now...
Wiat til I tell you about German MTV...
I'm going on Pimp my Ride UK... how could I not...
Last night I had some seafood and I swear there was sand in it. I think I might hate seafood... THERE... ARE YOU HAPPY NOW????????? I dislike seafood enough to not eat it again.... (I tried to spoiler this but Italian things, you know how they go but 'you have ruined my LIFE...aaaaahhhhh!!!!!'... and I would do a wink but again with the italian computer that won't do what I want...)
I do not like Italian men actually, they are not that hot, I like Germans. There are not enough Germans this season, lots of outspoken british though and an Irish family who have only one outfit each for the whole time they are here and can't leave the hotel because it is too hot for them. Last night I spent 30 whole euro on perfume that smells like the taste of candy floss, I smell like Candy floss...

I must go, I am sorry about the lameness of this entry...

Later...
Love...
Shazam...

I am tan... its not all over yet, I am still not allowed to sunbathe topless, my dad is such a nazi... Hmmm I'm a little worse for wear at the minute and although I am not wishing my holiday away I am glad I have less then a week to go. I have much to do when I return...
I'm reading YesMan by Danny Wallace (there is no need to explain who he is, he is hot enough thats all you need to know) and through Danny's teachings I have decided to say yes to everything, within reason of course, I'm not an idiot...
I like seafood again... HA!!!
There is a waiter in the hotel who keeps, ya know staring at me while I am sunbathing almost nude... and today at dinner he wouldn't serve me my tortallini and fine herb sauce because he kept talking to me. Anyway, he just keeps making cuming sounds everytime I see him and although I like to be sexualised I would rather it be by someone I actually find attractive and not frightening. I wonder if he'll try to rape me before I leave on Saturday... I wonder... I bet I won't enjoy it if he does...

Anyway, I must go now, Jay Leno is on and well its either that or Southpark in to fast German....

Later...
all my Love...
Suzanne...

Oh yea... Brandi, I have your postcards, I got you two because they are soooooo lame. I will send them in Dublin though so you feel extra cosmopolitian...

I have managed to get myself sunburnt somehow... see sunbathing for two hours a day for only three days doesn't usually have such an affect so I don't know what is going on but it fucking hurts, I know that much... anyway I am hot with my tan and all the boys are staring and isn't that the main thing...?? aha...

So Jesus, creepy fucking waiter and his creepy leering for the third and final year in a row... he just is so gross... why can't I just attract normal guys who don't leer and don't scare me!!!?? I'll never understand it... anyway, he took ages to serve me yesterday, I mean MINUTES... I was waiting for more then TWO minutes for my stuff, I forget what it was...while he spoke to my boobs in Italian... Anyway we are going to Verona tomorrow, I... CAN'T... WAIT... I will be seeing the Ampitheatre though so I've spelled that wrong, sorry anyway, it should be you know a FILLING DAY...

I wish I had my phone... suddenly I really need it... for TEXTING...

I'm deffo saying yes to everything... I am however saying NO to these really long winded updates I have become fond of... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH SUZANNE...

Okay I must leave you now... something massive was sucking Richards blood today and he keeps feeling faint... HA!! he also got a tattoo from an Italian tattoo shop (clearly) it is lovely... wait til you all see it...

I can't wait to see Rob.

I hope there are cameras in my room watching me.. wouldn't that be sick but also kind of hot... in a really sick way...

I'm sorry to have to say this also but I really think a quick lesson in please and thank you for the English wouldn't go a-miss. I thought it was just my dad but it's not, they all are the same (in this hotel and in London when I was there) kind of rude and sometimes I can't tell if they are being hilarious or serious so I just look confused (and abit stupid)... Obviously I don't think all English people are rude, that really would just be stupid just a small minority that I have encountered in Italy (and my dad and then in London too... but not Sickophant, you were polite enough but sometimes I couldn't tell if you were being serious or not...)
Okay...

Laterzzzzzzzzzz...
Love...
Suzanne...