Here is a story to illustrate how stupid I can be...
So I am walking home from work, listening to Dashboard Confessional (who I am trying to force myself into liking, but that singer, what even is his name?? is just so whiney, I think I may be fighting a losing battle...) and it is so pleasent and nice and I am passing the shops that are about seven minutes away from my house and I see what I think is my mothers car and instead of just ringing her to see where she is, instead of just ignoring what I believe to be my mothers car and walking the last seven minutes to my house, I stare at it, trying in vain to see the licence plate
(I don't know why I did this, I do not know what it is... I have terrible vision, see? and I get headaches because sometimes my glasses don't go with my outfit and I don't wear them. I can't get contacts because I have a stigmatizism. Before anyone says anything)
So, I have my Sagem My V-55 in my hand, ready to ring my mum and I am still glaring at the car and then...
OUT OF NOWHERE...
I CAREER into a lampost...
the whole side of my face is just splattered into this pole... and I stagger back, holding onto the lampost.
And its not dark yet and everyone has seen the whole thing and I try to laugh it off but my face is in too much pain and I can't really move it yet except to start crying...
fucking, I am such a pussy, always with the tears!!!
So, I'm just standing there, on the path, holding onto this lampost steading myself, trying not to cry or look directly at anyone and I have to try to move off the path onto the road and get across it without being hit by a car (I am so sure that is what is coming next) and that whiney fucker from Dashboard Confessional is singing his heart out about being in absolute, perfect love. Making the whole affair worse...
I start nursing my face but decide that will make me look even more conspicuous so I stop and then my face starts throbbing and my headache gets immediately worse.
I'm about three minutes from my house and I can't see anything at all and everything is spinning and I start to feel so wasted and my whole head is just POUNDING and Dashboard Confessional are finished and Incubus come on. I really like that song, Talk shows on Mute but I don't like Incubus, funny...
and, finally I get to my house and it feels like I've been away for days and Roger is waiting for me. I am bright red at this stage, all tears and running make-up. I tell my Dad what just happened and he started trying to make some sort of joke as if to make it better but I still can't really move my face to GIVE OUT TO HIM!!!! so he just continues...
And I then tell my Mum who just is in hysterics and then I start laughing but it still hurt and I had to stop, I have also stopped crying and that brings me to now. Whatever time it is, 22:44 in the PM...
The left side of my face is SWELLING!!!! I can feel it happening as I type.
I realise ramming into this pole happened for a reason, the reason and the LESSON is that I must wear my glasses or there will be more incidents like this...
Also. Please do not take the piss. I don't mind people taking the piss but sometimes, times such as this it just isn't going to be funny. Usually I deserve it, like with the hair dye but now I do not... So just DON'T.
Thank you for your time, it is always a pleasure...
*Hello LamPPost, whatcha knowin'?
I've come to watch your power flowin'...*
Later...
love...
Suzanne...
So I am walking home from work, listening to Dashboard Confessional (who I am trying to force myself into liking, but that singer, what even is his name?? is just so whiney, I think I may be fighting a losing battle...) and it is so pleasent and nice and I am passing the shops that are about seven minutes away from my house and I see what I think is my mothers car and instead of just ringing her to see where she is, instead of just ignoring what I believe to be my mothers car and walking the last seven minutes to my house, I stare at it, trying in vain to see the licence plate
(I don't know why I did this, I do not know what it is... I have terrible vision, see? and I get headaches because sometimes my glasses don't go with my outfit and I don't wear them. I can't get contacts because I have a stigmatizism. Before anyone says anything)
So, I have my Sagem My V-55 in my hand, ready to ring my mum and I am still glaring at the car and then...
OUT OF NOWHERE...
I CAREER into a lampost...
the whole side of my face is just splattered into this pole... and I stagger back, holding onto the lampost.
And its not dark yet and everyone has seen the whole thing and I try to laugh it off but my face is in too much pain and I can't really move it yet except to start crying...
fucking, I am such a pussy, always with the tears!!!
So, I'm just standing there, on the path, holding onto this lampost steading myself, trying not to cry or look directly at anyone and I have to try to move off the path onto the road and get across it without being hit by a car (I am so sure that is what is coming next) and that whiney fucker from Dashboard Confessional is singing his heart out about being in absolute, perfect love. Making the whole affair worse...
I start nursing my face but decide that will make me look even more conspicuous so I stop and then my face starts throbbing and my headache gets immediately worse.
I'm about three minutes from my house and I can't see anything at all and everything is spinning and I start to feel so wasted and my whole head is just POUNDING and Dashboard Confessional are finished and Incubus come on. I really like that song, Talk shows on Mute but I don't like Incubus, funny...
and, finally I get to my house and it feels like I've been away for days and Roger is waiting for me. I am bright red at this stage, all tears and running make-up. I tell my Dad what just happened and he started trying to make some sort of joke as if to make it better but I still can't really move my face to GIVE OUT TO HIM!!!! so he just continues...
And I then tell my Mum who just is in hysterics and then I start laughing but it still hurt and I had to stop, I have also stopped crying and that brings me to now. Whatever time it is, 22:44 in the PM...
The left side of my face is SWELLING!!!! I can feel it happening as I type.
I realise ramming into this pole happened for a reason, the reason and the LESSON is that I must wear my glasses or there will be more incidents like this...
Also. Please do not take the piss. I don't mind people taking the piss but sometimes, times such as this it just isn't going to be funny. Usually I deserve it, like with the hair dye but now I do not... So just DON'T.
Thank you for your time, it is always a pleasure...
*Hello LamPPost, whatcha knowin'?
I've come to watch your power flowin'...*
Later...
love...
Suzanne...
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
Regarding those neighbors...just let me know and I will come in from outta town and whack em for you....no noise...no fuss...no muss...just quiet offing and Roger will be able to bark til his hearts content!