Aend Aeonther Thing!
I feel compelled to maliciously slag the "Aeon Flux" film while its still relevant. Ok, through a sequence of unrelated events, I received two free issues of Premiere (a fine periodical of film-related topics/interviews). The October issue of Premiere featured Charlisle Theron. Now when Im confronted with some weird actor name (i.e. Stockard Channing, Parker Posey, etc, I resort to phonetic pronunciation.
Charr-lis-lee Theron, you are a scalding hot, sexy bitch. That said, what the hell business do you have being in a live-action Aeon Flux film?!?!! Well lets examine the evidence. Please consider the following quote from Premeire:
"[shooting Aeon Flux] was such an out-of-body experience. It was the biggest movie in every sense that Ive ever tried to tackle. And it was completely foreign to me. A friend of mine who educated me on the Aeon world [the film is adapted from a 1990s MTV animated series]told me that she went onto the website and that the fans are a little bit disappointed that Im not wearing the original outfit. And I thought, how could a human actually wear that and shoot in it? I mean, it was a cartoon!
This is probably the first indication that, hey guess what, the creator of the animated series was actually utilizing the medium to do something that could not (and should not!) be duplicated in live-action. And by your own admission, Charr-lis-lee, you dont care about the source material at all. In fact, you dont have any knowledge of it AND dont care that you dont. Soooo what are your reasons for being involved in this formulaic sci-fi action adaptation of a brilliantly groundbreaking and much-loved animated series?
More choice quotes to fuel the righteous anger:
Im going to be completely honest: If I had a choice between seeing a great dramatic film versus something that has science fiction in it, Id probably go and see the dramatic film. I grew up watching Kramer vs. Kramer or Sophies Choice versus Star Wars. Its like a gap I always think of it that way, like there was a giant generation gap by the time things came to us in South Africa. I just didnt grow up with those kinds of movies, and I think it left a mark on me somehow."
I ask again: What business do you, Charr-lis-lee Theron, have portraying Aeon Flux onscreen? You are ignorant of and indifferent toward the source material. Strike that you regard it as an obstacle to making a movie in a genre that you dont even care for. What reason could you have for perpetrating this unspeakable violation with such callous abandon? I cant even imagine'''' After the Oscar, is there just nothing left to prove, nothing left sacred? Just to pursue sex-symbol status by attempting a wannabe Tomb Raider Halle Berry style? I cant fathom the shallow, self-indulgent agenda that led down this path.
I relish the critics brutally tearing the film to pieces (clocking in at 10% fresh at rottentomatoes.com). Everyone involved knew this was going to be utter garbage and they hang their heads in shame! I discovered that Paramount Pictures premiered the film at 10p.m. on Thursday, so as to prevent critics from getting their reviews in the Friday edition. Heres a fun quote:
''They haven't done any test screenings, they haven't done any critics' screenings," says Drew McWeeny, West Coast editor for the influential film website Ain't It Cool News. ''This movie will play out in a week and a half, and it'll be over. It's the sacrificial lamb this Christmas season. . . . The advertising and the release pattern make it clear that they're gonna toss it out there and let it die."
In a feature film with live action, you're losing 90 percent of what made it interesting in the first place," McWeeny adds. ''I don't understand what Paramount is doing with this movie. They're aiming at a very narrow audience, and I don't even get the sense of anticipation from that audience. I genuinely don't know what they're expecting, but I think it will be a pretty epic disaster."
Knowing that Im not some kind of purist jerkface for being confused and appalled at this f*cking masquerade, or that there is at least one more purist jerkface with media connections out there (with the unfortunate name of McWeeny), gives me some solace. The other good thing about the release of the Aeon Flux film is that it will spur interest in the original series that has just been re-released on DVD as a juicy re-mastered 3-disc box set! Oh f*ck yea! Thats going straight in the Netflix Queue, which anticipates a long wait. Long live the REAL Aeon Flux!!!
get yourself some of the real sh*t:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000B8I9XQ/qid=1134108484/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-2700118-6265648?n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance
http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=70040845&trkid=90529
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051202/ENT02/512020418/1034
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/11/30/eye.ent.flux/
I feel compelled to maliciously slag the "Aeon Flux" film while its still relevant. Ok, through a sequence of unrelated events, I received two free issues of Premiere (a fine periodical of film-related topics/interviews). The October issue of Premiere featured Charlisle Theron. Now when Im confronted with some weird actor name (i.e. Stockard Channing, Parker Posey, etc, I resort to phonetic pronunciation.
Charr-lis-lee Theron, you are a scalding hot, sexy bitch. That said, what the hell business do you have being in a live-action Aeon Flux film?!?!! Well lets examine the evidence. Please consider the following quote from Premeire:
"[shooting Aeon Flux] was such an out-of-body experience. It was the biggest movie in every sense that Ive ever tried to tackle. And it was completely foreign to me. A friend of mine who educated me on the Aeon world [the film is adapted from a 1990s MTV animated series]told me that she went onto the website and that the fans are a little bit disappointed that Im not wearing the original outfit. And I thought, how could a human actually wear that and shoot in it? I mean, it was a cartoon!
This is probably the first indication that, hey guess what, the creator of the animated series was actually utilizing the medium to do something that could not (and should not!) be duplicated in live-action. And by your own admission, Charr-lis-lee, you dont care about the source material at all. In fact, you dont have any knowledge of it AND dont care that you dont. Soooo what are your reasons for being involved in this formulaic sci-fi action adaptation of a brilliantly groundbreaking and much-loved animated series?
More choice quotes to fuel the righteous anger:
Im going to be completely honest: If I had a choice between seeing a great dramatic film versus something that has science fiction in it, Id probably go and see the dramatic film. I grew up watching Kramer vs. Kramer or Sophies Choice versus Star Wars. Its like a gap I always think of it that way, like there was a giant generation gap by the time things came to us in South Africa. I just didnt grow up with those kinds of movies, and I think it left a mark on me somehow."
I ask again: What business do you, Charr-lis-lee Theron, have portraying Aeon Flux onscreen? You are ignorant of and indifferent toward the source material. Strike that you regard it as an obstacle to making a movie in a genre that you dont even care for. What reason could you have for perpetrating this unspeakable violation with such callous abandon? I cant even imagine'''' After the Oscar, is there just nothing left to prove, nothing left sacred? Just to pursue sex-symbol status by attempting a wannabe Tomb Raider Halle Berry style? I cant fathom the shallow, self-indulgent agenda that led down this path.
I relish the critics brutally tearing the film to pieces (clocking in at 10% fresh at rottentomatoes.com). Everyone involved knew this was going to be utter garbage and they hang their heads in shame! I discovered that Paramount Pictures premiered the film at 10p.m. on Thursday, so as to prevent critics from getting their reviews in the Friday edition. Heres a fun quote:
''They haven't done any test screenings, they haven't done any critics' screenings," says Drew McWeeny, West Coast editor for the influential film website Ain't It Cool News. ''This movie will play out in a week and a half, and it'll be over. It's the sacrificial lamb this Christmas season. . . . The advertising and the release pattern make it clear that they're gonna toss it out there and let it die."
In a feature film with live action, you're losing 90 percent of what made it interesting in the first place," McWeeny adds. ''I don't understand what Paramount is doing with this movie. They're aiming at a very narrow audience, and I don't even get the sense of anticipation from that audience. I genuinely don't know what they're expecting, but I think it will be a pretty epic disaster."
Knowing that Im not some kind of purist jerkface for being confused and appalled at this f*cking masquerade, or that there is at least one more purist jerkface with media connections out there (with the unfortunate name of McWeeny), gives me some solace. The other good thing about the release of the Aeon Flux film is that it will spur interest in the original series that has just been re-released on DVD as a juicy re-mastered 3-disc box set! Oh f*ck yea! Thats going straight in the Netflix Queue, which anticipates a long wait. Long live the REAL Aeon Flux!!!
get yourself some of the real sh*t:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000B8I9XQ/qid=1134108484/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-2700118-6265648?n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance
http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=70040845&trkid=90529
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051202/ENT02/512020418/1034
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/11/30/eye.ent.flux/