these are letters we wrote to the baby. i named her Amina, although i didn't know the sex. in the summer, we'll make a doll together of what she might have looked like. it's been rough on both of us. i can't even get through both of them without getting tear-y. i'm posting them on the intra-web, sort of my way of sending it into the universe. thanks for being so nice, everyone.
To Amina:
I'm sorry that things were bad for you.
I'm sorry you came at a time that wasn't right.
We would have given you a good life. We would have been good to you, and you would have enriched our lives. There wasn't anything we wouldn't give to you, no sacrifice too big.
You would have been beautiful.
Whether you were in my womb or my heart, I miss you.
Love, Mommy
To Amina:
I'm sorry for doubting you. I never even knew you, which makes it that much worse. We had so much in store for you. All the potential you had, all the songs I would have written, and the advice, all the birthdays and car rides, and theme park trips are gone. I blame myself, really. Wherever you are, though, someone else needs you. I can only imagine how you would have turned out. I never knew you, but I miss you already.
Love, Dad
To Amina:
I'm sorry that things were bad for you.
I'm sorry you came at a time that wasn't right.
We would have given you a good life. We would have been good to you, and you would have enriched our lives. There wasn't anything we wouldn't give to you, no sacrifice too big.
You would have been beautiful.
Whether you were in my womb or my heart, I miss you.
Love, Mommy
To Amina:
I'm sorry for doubting you. I never even knew you, which makes it that much worse. We had so much in store for you. All the potential you had, all the songs I would have written, and the advice, all the birthdays and car rides, and theme park trips are gone. I blame myself, really. Wherever you are, though, someone else needs you. I can only imagine how you would have turned out. I never knew you, but I miss you already.
Love, Dad
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I got a little choked up myself. I can only imagine what you feel. I hope as days go by the pain is a little less each day. you'll never forget but I hope some day you'll feel at peace with it and know it was not your fault.