Seasonal Weaponry
Ah, welcome to Max Laboratories where we've been working on a few devices for your upcoming mission. I think you'll find them extremely useful.
First up we have the Yuletide Express semi-automatic, firing modified sedative rounds. You see someone hanging up christmas decorations or a tree, a quick shot from this and they'll go into a coma for six weeks, waking up on the christmas they're obviously so desperate to get to. The dosage is computer controlled against date and timezone so feel free to give anyone hanging tinsel before december 11th a nice long rest. While nonlethal in nature, this weapon is still fatal to anyone working in advertising or marketing - it seems nobody notices or cares when they go missing and they end up starving to death unloved and alone. We'd rather you use regular ammunition for those subjects to avoid any 'Geneva complications'. Still, more of a feature than a bug, eh?
Next up we have the Reminder Flashbomb, for use against crowds or multiple targets, like group of people lining up for a Santas Grotto despite the fact that Halloween was less than a fortnight ago. A loud flashbang for the usual fear and panic, then targeted laser beams etch the message "IT'S NOVEMBER" across all every retina in range; again the weapon strength is controlled by a microprocessor so that the reminder remains visible in white fire across their vision until midnight, November 30.
Finally a little bit of amusement for you - The Anti-Santa Wand. Yes, I know it looks like a polished .45 Magnum Revolver, but the shells are biochemical cocktails behind an anti-personnel cap guaranteed to penetrate the reddest of cloth and the lushest of fake curly white beards. The hormones in that dose will turn the most lovable St Nick-emulator into a violent tourettes sufferer on amphetamines - though the muscle relaxers render him weak as a kitten so that the only damage he can inflict is psychological. They also cause incontinence, which we find helps the overall effect. A guaranteed lawsuit against the establishment, fear of grottos for the parents, the the children learn in no uncertain terms that seeing santa in the eleventh month of the year is A Bad Thing.
Familiarise yourself with these devices and then proceed to the local Shop-O-Plex to carry out your mission.
Oh, and do try to bring some of these back this time.
Ah, welcome to Max Laboratories where we've been working on a few devices for your upcoming mission. I think you'll find them extremely useful.
First up we have the Yuletide Express semi-automatic, firing modified sedative rounds. You see someone hanging up christmas decorations or a tree, a quick shot from this and they'll go into a coma for six weeks, waking up on the christmas they're obviously so desperate to get to. The dosage is computer controlled against date and timezone so feel free to give anyone hanging tinsel before december 11th a nice long rest. While nonlethal in nature, this weapon is still fatal to anyone working in advertising or marketing - it seems nobody notices or cares when they go missing and they end up starving to death unloved and alone. We'd rather you use regular ammunition for those subjects to avoid any 'Geneva complications'. Still, more of a feature than a bug, eh?
Next up we have the Reminder Flashbomb, for use against crowds or multiple targets, like group of people lining up for a Santas Grotto despite the fact that Halloween was less than a fortnight ago. A loud flashbang for the usual fear and panic, then targeted laser beams etch the message "IT'S NOVEMBER" across all every retina in range; again the weapon strength is controlled by a microprocessor so that the reminder remains visible in white fire across their vision until midnight, November 30.
Finally a little bit of amusement for you - The Anti-Santa Wand. Yes, I know it looks like a polished .45 Magnum Revolver, but the shells are biochemical cocktails behind an anti-personnel cap guaranteed to penetrate the reddest of cloth and the lushest of fake curly white beards. The hormones in that dose will turn the most lovable St Nick-emulator into a violent tourettes sufferer on amphetamines - though the muscle relaxers render him weak as a kitten so that the only damage he can inflict is psychological. They also cause incontinence, which we find helps the overall effect. A guaranteed lawsuit against the establishment, fear of grottos for the parents, the the children learn in no uncertain terms that seeing santa in the eleventh month of the year is A Bad Thing.
Familiarise yourself with these devices and then proceed to the local Shop-O-Plex to carry out your mission.
Oh, and do try to bring some of these back this time.