maurauder

that sounds soooo cute. i think i will look like a homely little troll next to you but i am all for that idea. we are a dynamic duo indeed. also, big things went down today. call me.

i failed my class. i lost my acceptance to ucsb. i lost the scholarship. i lost my comfortable place of denial mostly. i am seriously depressed and i think that i have been trying not to feel anything and i now i feel too much. girls like me don't have two boys that say i love you or two boys who cry when i threaten to leave. i dont know what the fuck to do with this but i know that people who have two usually end up with none. i dont want eric to leave but i cant expect him to stay. i dont want to go back to the boy but i cant pretend that i dont stand in the shower and cry everyday. i cry for the wedding that i dreamed about, i cry for four years of memories that are fading. i cry because i saw forever in his eyes. i cry because i believe when he says im sorry and i believe when he says that he understands my value and would spend his entire life working to afford me. i want to run back to the place where i was a 4.0 student and my parents called everyday. here i am happy and i have a huge penis and i can get naked on the internet and be me and be free but my parents are ashamed and im a failure. my friends dont understand, i dont know what i want and i know i am going to break a heart or two before its said and done. this fucking sucks. lets get naked. fuck the camera. i mean, um....yeah, dynamic duos...lets do it.