maurauder

The thing is, I dont actually want to be a smoker. But I want to hold the cigarrette, to feel the inhale, the exhale. I love to watch the smoke curl up out of my mouth. I love the way one stands when one is smoking, especially when its cold outside and you hunch your back against the wind. I love the grit and the glamour and the self destruction of it. The dirty romance of the lost in the moment and burn of it.

Its been 2 months, and it only gets harder.